Father of Mine
by blueink3
Summary: Chandler and Monica never got engaged, but why...and what effect did that have on those closest to them...and on one person in particular? (don't judge by the summary...please read and review...you would make my day)
1. Default Chapter

Happy New Year to all! This is my first fic in a long time so please be kind! 

Ryan sprinted down the stairs of his suburban house and slammed into the front door. Not having the strength to open it, he sank down to the ground and wrapped his arms around his knees. He silently rocked back and forth fighting the urge to let his tears run freely. Everything he had been told was a lie. His entire life was one big lie and it had to come crashing down on him today. His seventeenth birthday was supposed to be a day full of presents (a new car?), and cake (his mom made the best), and family (dysfunctional though it was). After today, dysfunctional was only the beginning. If he even had a family. He didn't know anymore. Getting the rubbery feeling out of his legs, Ryan stumbled to the phone and called a cab. Yesterday he was fine, no, merely an hour ago he was fine, but now, nothing would ever be the same. 

__

BEEP! BEEP!

Ryan exited his house, locked his door, and putting on his jacket got into the cab. 

"Manhattan." 

***

Monica Geller tried to open the door to her house but was surprised to find it was locked. Getting her key out, she grabbed the mail and walked in the door. Flipping through bills and random junk mail, she came across a card. A birthday card written in familiar handwriting. Her breath caught in her throat. 

"Ryan?" her voice sounded strangled. She cleared her throat and called again. "Ryan?" Sniffing the air, something smelled like it was burning. She ran into the kitchen and opened the microwave to find a charred lump of black popcorn. She set the groceries on the table consisting of cake mix, eggs, and scotch tape to wrap Ryan's new car keys and threw the after school snack disaster into the trash. Glancing at the card she still clutched in her hand, she placed it at the bottom of the stack and headed upstairs. 

"Ryan?" Usually he'd be down to greet her in a second especially on a day like today. "Ryan?" she opened the door to his bedroom to find it completely empty except for a few stray clothes discarded on the floor and on the chair. With a puzzled expression she went back into the hallway but noticed that the attic door was left slightly open. 

Walking up the stairs she coughed a bit getting her eyes and lungs used to the dust and stale air. She hardly came up here unless it was to get some of Ryan's old clothes and toys. Monica's entire past was locked up here and seeing as it wasn't exactly a fairytale, she didn't really like to reflect on it. But as she reached the top of the stairs, what met her there nearly knocked the wind out of her. She saw an open box but it wasn't just any box. It was THE box. The one that she kept deep in the corner where she didn't expect anyone to find it. But he did. 

And at that moment, Monica realized that Ryan knew. Everything that she had wanted to keep from him, everything that she had wished would just remain a secret was ripped out in the open at a time that was definitely not the most opportune. She dared to creep closer and sure enough what lay on top was Ryan's birth certificate. And sure enough the name that was written next to "father" was not the person that Ryan had learned to love. Most certainly not. The name written next to "father" was not a person Ryan needed to know, better yet, a person Monica kept Ryan from knowing. She stared at the words, a name she had not mentioned in years. A million memories and feelings rushed through her and the name whispered back at her. A name she had forced herself to forget. 

Chandler Bing. 

***

Ryan gave the cabbie money and stepped onto the curb. He wrapped his coat tighter around him, the December wind nipping at his face. He looked at the building before him. Never before had he ever been nervous about confronting the person he was about to. But now everything had changed. He wasn't the same teenager that he was when he last saw this man. With shaky hands, he opened the door to the lobby and stepped out of the cold. He walked up the familiar flight of stairs and stood in front of the door that he had so many times. 

"Come on, pull yourself together. What would Dad say if he saw you –" He stopped abruptly and started crying all over again. _He's not my father…Yes he is, in every sense of the word._ His conscience battled within himself and he wiped his eyes on the cuff of his sleeve. He reached a shaky hand, took a deep breath and knocked on the door. The door opened.

"Hey Uncle Ross."

***

Monica raced down the stairs and slammed the attic door shut. 

"Ryan!" Of course he wasn't here. He'd probably be as far away from her as he possibly could get. She ran into her room and called his best friend Megan. They were so close Megan was like a daughter to her.

"Hello?"

"Megan, it's Monica."

"Oh hey Monica." Monica tried to keep her voice from giving away her tears. 

"Um, have you seen Ryan?"

"No, I'm afraid I haven't."

"Okay well if you talk to him will you tell him I'm looking for him?"

"Sure thing. Oh and if you see him first, tell him I'll call him later. I have a surprise for him."

"I'm sure he'll love it."

"I hope so. Probably not as much as the new car though."

"Yeah." Monica's voice was beginning to crack. "Well if you see him just tell him to come home." Monica gathered her strength and took on a playful tone. "If not then he won't get his car."

"There's a threat. I definitely will. Bye Monica and tell Ryan I said happy birthday."

"Yeah I will." Megan hung up and Monica said quietly to herself, "Happy birthday." Megan and Ryan reminded her of a younger version of her and Chandler and that's what hurt every time she saw them together. 

***

"Ryan, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be opening gifts somewhere?" Ryan smiled despite his reason for coming and then Ross noticed that his eyes were red with unshed tears. "Ryan, what's wrong?" Ryan tried to play it off but his bitterness came through anyway.

"Oh you know family crisis, no big deal. I mean it doesn't matter that I've been lied to my entire life. It doesn't matter that I had to find out on my own, on my birthday which pretty much shot the rest of the day for me!" He swallowed hard.

"Ryan what are you talking about?" Ross led him over to the couch and sat him down. Rachel came out of the kitchen.

"What is all the noise? Oh hey Ryan, what are doing here?" Ryan looked at her with teary eyes and Ross had a pained expression on his face. She stopped. "What'd I do?" Ryan shook his head.

"Nothing."

"Ryan what happened?" Ross asked again. Rachel sat down next to Ryan and put her arm around his shoulders.

"I need to ask you guys a question and please be truthful. I know you know so don't try to blow it off."

"Okay, go ahead, sweetie." Rachel encouraged him to go on. He looked at them his gaze unwavering. 

"Who is Chandler Bing?"

***

After finding no answer at Ben's apartment, Monica dialed Ross' number. _Please be there, please be there._

"Hello?"

"Ross, is Ryan there?"

"Yes he's here."

"Thank God. Is he okay?"

"Um I'm not sure yet. Physically, yes. Emotionally…I'm working on it. I think it's best if I talk to him first before you give him your "worried mother" speech." Monica for once conceded.

"All right, but please call me the minute you are done."

"I will. And Mon?"

"Yeah?" 

"You knew this was going to have to come out sooner or later."

"I know I was just kinda hoping it would be later rather than sooner."

"Mon, he's 17. He needs to know."

"I know." Her voice cracked and she wiped her hand across her eyes.

"I'll call you soon."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye." Ross hung up and looked over at Rachel who was still sitting somewhat shell-shocked from the unexpected question Ryan just threw at her. Before sitting he glanced at the apartment across the way and thought how this conversation was going to change that person's life drastically.

"Ryan how do you know about Chandler?"

"You know who he is?"

"Yes we know who he is," Rachel answered, "but how do _you_ know who he is?" 

"I found my birth certificate."

"Oh." That was all Rachel could say. 

"All this time you knew. You knew he was my father and you never told me?"

"Ryan, you mother didn't want to complicate your life" –

"Well she did a great job of that now didn't she!"

"Ryan that's not fair. She went through a very difficult time." 

"Yeah and she just made my life a piece of cake!"

"Ryan!" Ross reprimanded him. No matter how angry he was, he was still talking about his mother. 

"She made me believe something that was a lie." 

"Ryan you loved Richard like a father."

"Yes he was my father and now he's dead. Look's like Mom's just gonna have to find a new one for me!"

"You've already got one." Rachel interjected not realizing her mistake until after the words were already out of her mouth. Ryan looked at her for a moment.

"You know where he is, don't you." It was more of a statement than a question. Ross relented.

"Yes we know where he is."

"Do you talk to him?"

"Actually we had coffee with him this morning." Rachel laughed ironically until she saw Ross' face and stopped, covering it up with a cough.

"You mean to tell me that this man's been in all your lives and I never knew about him? This whole little world was going on around me and no one stopped to tell me that my father wasn't really my real father and that my real one probably lives right around the corner and watches football with you on Sundays!" Ross glanced out the window again and then at Rachel who knew that that was exactly what Ross, Joey, and Chandler did on Sunday. Ryan slumped further into the couch as fifteen-year-old Emma walked through the door.

"Hello all. Oh hey Ryan." She went over to give him a hug. They were very close seeing as he spent a lot of time over at Ross and Rachel's. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine, Em." He released her from the hug.

"Emma, go to your room." Ross said.

"But I didn't – 

"Go." 

"Fine. My goodness, you have more mood swings than Uncle Chandler." Ryan's jaw dropped, Ross smacked his hand to his forehead, and Emma's eyes went as wide as dish plates when she realized her mistake. She gave a nervous laugh. "I'll just be going to my room now." She hurried off. Ryan stared after her. 

"_Uncle_ Chandler?"

***

Monica knew all she could do was wait while Ross tried to explain to the very stubborn Ryan a rather difficult situation. She walked back down to the kitchen and decided she should salvage what was left of his birthday and at least bake him a cake. As she grabbed the groceries, she eyed the stack of mail. Curious and concerned she grabbed the bottom card and studied the handwriting. So many notes had been written in this script and she knew every curve of it. Afraid that he had found out the truth, she opened the card and read. 

__

Dear Ryan,

Happy seventeenth birthday. I have a few tips for you so pay close attention:

- Make sure a temp job remains a temp job. Don't get stuck in something you don't have a passion for. 

- Never date anyone named Janice.

- Always pretend you know what Aunt Phoebe is saying

- Do not buy a single sweater vest. Even if they are in season, DON'T! Trust me it will come back to haunt you.

- You can never tell too many jokes. (Despite what Aunt Rachel says)

- If you propose, make it count then you only have to do it once. (not three times) And don't play tricks on her mind to "make it special" cause you could end up losing her for good.

- Beat Uncle Joey's ass at foosball.

- Never stop believing in Santa Claus.

- Never make a girl cry.

- Be nice to your mom, she's been through a lot.

- If you find someone, make sure she knows that you love her and never ever let her go. 

These are just a few tips to keep you in line. Always have fun and remember to never regret the things you've done but those you did not do. Happy Birthday. 

Anonymous 

Monica stared at the card dumbfounded. So many things ran through her head at that moment. What did he mean "three times?" And what was the part about playing "tricks on her mind to make it special cause you could end up losing her for good?" Monica needed to talk to someone but the only one she could talk to was the one she hadn't civilly spoken to in 18 years. Well briefly at certain occasions like births, weddings and most recently at Richard's funeral. She saw him standing at the back of the church and she went to talk to him. He merely said "I'm sorry for your loss" and walked away. It was full of sincerity, not bitterness or spite. If he had done what she did to him, she didn't think she could pull it together for even that much. He hadn't spoken to or really seen Ryan since he was three and was rushed to the hospital for pneumonia. That memory brought back heart wrenching emotions. She let a few tears stain the neatly scribbled letter and she slumped in a chair and did something she hadn't done in a very long time. She cried over Chandler. 

FLASHBACK – 2004

Chandler sat at his desk and typed things from one column to the next. His phone rang and he picked it up never taking his eyes off of the screen. 

"Hello?"

"Chandler! I need you to do me a huge beyond huge favor!"

"Ross?"

"Yes. Look I need you to meet me at the hospital." Chandler stood up finally taking his eyes away from the computer in front of him.

"What happened? Are you okay? Is it Emma?"

"Chandler it's Ryan." _Ryan. Monica's Ryan. _Chandler slowly sat back down and listened as Ross told him that Ryan was staying with them because Richard was at a conference and Monica and Rachel had gone away for the weekend. He got really sick and Ross was tied up with classes that he couldn't cancel. "Chandler, please go to the hospital and just be there. I would feel so much more comfortable." Chandler glanced at the screen once more deciding that that was better than going blind staring at numbers for hours on end. 

"Okay Ross, I'll go."

"Thank you. His day-care took him there this morning. He should be in the pediatric ward."

"Ross, what am I supposed to say to him?"

"Just tell him that you're a friend of his Mommy and Aunts and Uncles."

"No too fond of his Daddy though." Ross smiled.

"Thank you, Chandler. I've already called Monica and Rachel and they should be on their way home but they won't be here before 8:00 tonight. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Bye."

"Bye."

PRESENT DAY…

"Sweetie sit down." Ryan didn't budge so Rachel went over and pushed him down into the sofa. "We've known Chandler for a very long time now. He was Uncle Ross' college roommate." If it was possible Ryan's jaw dropped even further. "Look I know that this comes as a huge shock to you but you have to realize that we honored your mother's decision and she believed that it was in your best interest to not even mention his name." 

"Where is he?"

"Ryan, maybe you better talk to your Mom before we say anything."

"She can't shut him out of my life like she's done for the past seventeen years. I should know who my father is. I deserve that much." Rachel sat next to him again.

"Yes you do. But it's not our place to tell you. That is your mother's decision and hers alone."

"What it's not mine? I don't get to have a say in this? I mean the man is _my _father." Ross and Rachel were silent. A flash of hurt ran across Ryan's face and he turned to them. "Did he know that he was my father?" Ross looked at him, ready to defend his best friend.

"You mean did he know that he was your father and abandon you with no notice or recognition? No. He knows that Monica has a son but he doesn't know that that son is also his."

"Why doesn't Mom talk to him? I mean you guys are such good friends with him, what happened between them?"

"That is definitely a conversation to be had between you and your Mom."

"And Chandler."

"Ryan don't – 

"No I don't care what Mom says. I already lost one father, I'm not losing another." Ross and Rachel were silenced yet again. He sure could be difficult. Definitely got most of his mother in that department. Ross tried again.

"Look why don't you talk to her. Just call her, okay? There's a phone in our bedroom if you want some privacy." Ryan paused before he answered.

"All right thanks." He walked to their bedroom and shut the door. He picked up the phone but didn't dial his home number. Ryan knew he had to talk fast if this was going to work.

"Uncle Joey, where does Chandler live?"

"Across the hall from me, Apartment 20," he said as he stuffed another piece of pizza in his mouth. "Hello?" But no one was on the other end. It was at that moment that Joey realized who had just called him and what he had just asked. He choked on his pizza. 

Ryan knew. 

Ryan sat on the bed for a few moments reeling from the information he just received. Chandler lived just across the hall from Joey. Just across the street from where he now sat. Waiting a few more moments, he walked out into the living room and faced Ross and Rachel's anxious faces. 

"Mom and I are going to meet at a downtown restaurant and talk some things over."

"Okay do you want me to give you a ride?"

"No I'll just take a cab."

"Are you sure? I mean it's cleaner and I promise I won't charge you too much." Ryan smiled, probably for the first time that afternoon, and shook his head.

"Yeah I'm sure. Thanks though."

"Anytime." Ryan opened the door and turned around and his face showed his hurt.

"Please don't lie to me again." Rachel walked over and hugged him. He released her and walked out the door. Ross sank into the couch and Rachel came and sat next to him. Ross broke the silence. 

"Finally."

"Yeah, finally."

"Now I don't have to have a near panic attack every time I see Chandler."

"Do you think he'll forgive us?"

"Are you kidding? We knew he had a son and never told him. He'll fume, probably hit me, and _then_ never forgive me." Rachel thought for a second.

"Hm, well what about me?" 

"Hey if I'm going down you're coming with me!" 

***

Joey realized what Ryan would probably do and rushed over to Chandler's apartment. He flew through the front door.

"Chandler!" No answer. Joey ran over to his bedroom and banged on the door! "Chandler wake up! Dude, it's a matter of life or death!" 

"Joey what's wrong?" Chandler walked out of the bathroom in a robe and wet hair. 

"Dude!" Joey ran over to him.

"Joey are you all right? Is it Phoebe? Did something happen to Emma?" Joey stood there for a moment confused. 

"Wait something happened to Emma?" Chandler sighed exasperated.

"That's what I'm asking you!"

"Oh…No they're fine." He didn't say anything prompting Chandler to ask,

"Then what the hell is wrong?" Joey needed to get him out of the apartment.

"Can we go get some coffee?"

"Coffee? Coffee is a matter of life and death?"

"YES!" 

"Joey, I'm not really in the mood for coffee." Joey was getting desperate.

"Chandler move your ass! Get some clothes on and we are getting coffee!" Chandler stood there for a moment, a little taken aback by Joey's outburst.

"Okay, shhh. We'll just go get some coffee then," he said in a way that might soothe an angry child. 

"OKAY!" 

"Joe, you don't need to yell anymore."

"I KNOW!" Chandler sighed.

"Joey go get a cookie and I'll be out in a minute."

"Oooh cookies!" Joey hopped into the kitchen and grabbed the cookie jar as Chandler disappeared into his bedroom. The apartment still looked the same, minus a few of Monica's belongings. And the fact that Chandler slept in the guest room instead of the one he used to share with her. Joey grabbed one more cookie as Chandler appeared in jeans and a shirt.

"Come on Dude, move it move it! Hot coffee is waiting." Chandler gave him a quizzical look as he was ushered out the door. 

Ryan stood across the street and looked up at the building in front of him. He took a deep breath and walked across the busy intersection but when he reached the other side, he couldn't make his legs walk any further. His stomach was doing flips and his heart was pounding inside his chest. Forcing his knees to function, he made his way to the building. 

Joey led Chandler into the coffee shop and as they sat down, he saw Ryan walk by the window, heading for Apartment 20.

If standing in front of Ross' door was scary, this was nothing short of terrifying. His stomach was now in knots and Ryan was sure that at any moment he would throw up. He reached a shaky hand up and knocked on the door. He waited a few moments and knocked again. He leaned his head in but heard no movement. Sighing he turned and knocked on his Uncle Joey's door. No answer either. _He was just there a moment ago. _Then a thought hit him. Although Uncle Joey wasn't exactly the brightest crayon in the box, surely he would've figured out who called him and then realized that Ryan asked for a person that he wasn't supposed to know. Did Joey have something to do Chandler not being home?

"Why are they always protecting me?" He wondered aloud. 

"Can I help you?" Ryan spun around to be met with familiar blue eyes. 

"Um, I was just looking for Joey Tribbiani. Do you know where he is?" He asked in a shaky tone, a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. 

"Yeah he's at the coffee shop downstairs, Central Perk."

"Oh thanks." Neither made a move to leave. 

"You okay kid?" Ryan nodded but he was desperately trying to figure out who this person was that looked so familiar to him. The man before him seemed to be battling the same emotions.

"Yeah I'm fine. Downstairs?"

"Yeah just go out the door and make a right."

"Thanks." 

Right as Ryan was about to leave Joey came bounding up the stairs.

"Chandler when I said I was going to the bathroom, I didn't mean leave! We _need_ our hot coffee!" Ryan stood before the two men, though only staring at one. Joey finally noticed him. "Oh hey Ryan." Chandler's eyes went wide as Joey realized he'd just blown it and tried to cover up. "Ryan! Ryan? Who's Ryan? I've never heard a Ryan before." He laughed nervously and the two men continued to stare at each other. Joey realized his cover up wasn't working too well. "Crap. Monica's gonna kill me."

It hit Chandler why this boy looked so familiar. This was Monica's son. Ryan stared into blue eyes that were so much like his own. He was staring into the eyes of his father. 

To be continued…


	2. Part II

Enjoy!

Monica paced back and forth. It had been an hour and a half since she had called Ross and she had hoped to hear from Ryan by now. 

__

Maybe I should call Ross again. No I need to give Ryan time to let this absorb. 

Monica continued pacing until she was sure she would wear a hole in the floor. 

Joey looked from one person to the other having no idea what to say or do. He knew that Ryan knew that Chandler was his father but Chandler had nooo idea that Ryan was his son. Finally Joey realized that if he didn't say something it was going more and more awkward until somebody lost it. 

"So Ryan, this is Chandler. Chandler, Ryan Geller." 

Ryan's breath caught as the pieces fit into place. That was why his Mom didn't let him take Richard's name. Chandler figured he might as well be civil to the kid. I mean it's not like _he _had anything to do with the way things were now. 

"Do you want to come in and watch some TV or play some video games?" Ryan looked a little startled at the suggestion but a smile soon broke across his face. He forgot that this man didn't know that he had a son so Ryan could act normal around him. There would be no awkward conversations or anything. Ryan nodded his head.

"Sure."

Monica gave up on the "trying to keep it cool" façade and dialed Ross' number. 

"Hello?"

"Ross are you guys done yet? I really want to talk to Ryan." Ross paused before answering.

"Mon, he left here a half hour ago to go have lunch with you." Now it was Monica's turn to pause.

"No he didn't."

"Mon, he went into our bedroom and called you."

"Well I don't know who he called but it wasn't – oh my God."

"What?"

"Ross I have to go."

"Monica tell me!"

"I think he went to Chandler's."

"He wouldn't do that."

"Yes he would. Oh my God he's gonna go over there and tell him and Chandler's gonna find out and it's not gonna be good!" 

"Mon calm down, breathe. Look, think rationally about this. I doubt he would've gone over to Chandler's. He's not that crazy."

"He _is_ Chandler's son."

"Yes but he just found out that Chandler is his father. Don't you think he would've given it some time?"

"I guess. Maybe he's at Joey's."

"Good. Why don't you call him."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Bye.

"Bye." Monica hung up and dialed Joey's number…no answer. "Damn it!" Monica dialed Ross again.

"Ross no one's at Joey's." Ross sighed.

"Do you want me to call Chandler?"

"Please?"

"Okay and if he isn't there how am I going to explain why I am looking for Monica's son at his apartment when Monica's son isn't supposed to know him?"

"I'll let you figure that one out."

"Monica!"

"Fine, fine. Look just tell him that Ryan went wandering off and you're checking everywhere. Maybe he found Chandler's address somewhere."

"But where would he find it in the first place."

"Joey." Monica replied without hesitation.

"True. All right I'll call."

"Thank you."

Ryan nearly spit out his soda as Chandler finished his joke, one that Joey had heard numerous times. 

__

Ryan really missed out on a lot by not knowing Chandler. Joey thought about the disastrous camping trip with Ross, Rachel, Ben, Emma, Phoebe, and Chandler. Man those were some good times. Especially after Ross nearly burned down the campground just by making a s'more. Joey looked at the both of them. They looked so much like each other when they smiled. Only someone who knew the truth could tell though. 

Ryan continued laughing, as did Chandler. Everyone had heard most of his jokes so it felt good to make someone laugh again. Just then the phone rang. Joey jumped to pick it up.

"Hello?"

"Joey?"

"Ross?" Ryan's smiled faded as he looked at his Uncle Joey.

"Is Ryan there?"

"Yeah. Relax nothing happened."

"Does Chandler know?"

"No he doesn't"

"Are you sure?" Joey looked over to see Chandler looking back rather confused by the change in mood. 

"Pretty sure."

"Please just tell Ryan to call Monica."

"Okay I will."

"Thank you. And tell him that if he doesn't want me to lie to him, he better know that it's a two way street."

"Wait how did we end up talking about streets?"

"Nevermind. Just tell him to call Monica."

"Okay I will. Bye."

"Bye." Joey looked up at Ryan and Ryan was afraid of what was coming next.   


"Ryan call your Mom."

"That's it?"

"What do you mean that's it?"

"What no reprimand or yelling? Send me to my room?"

"First of all, you don't have a room. Second of all, they're just worried about you."

"Why are they worried about him?" Chandler finally spoke.

"Well it's not everyday that Monica's son visits her ex." Ryan's eyes went wide but Chandler seemed unfazed. 

"True."

Ryan's lingering question of whether it was just a one time thing was answered. _Chandler thinks I know about him and Mom. _Chandler's voice broke through Ryan's daydreaming. 

"Ryan there's a phone in my room if you want to use it."

"Thanks." Ryan walked into the room on the right and closed the door. So this was it. This was the moment of truth. He was going to confront his mother about everything that she never told him. He took a deep breath, but stopped as he looked around. His mother probably lived in this apartment. She had probably laughed at Chandler's jokes, used the phone that lay on the nightstand, and no doubt washed the dishes in the sink. Ryan picked up the phone and dialed. It rang…and rang…and rang. She wasn't home. Uh oh. That wasn't good.

Monica was driving to the city, on her way to Ross'. He had called and told her to come over. He told her to stay calm but she feared the worst. Ryan had been at Chandler's. They probably had been talking. Chandler probably knew. Would he be angry? No doubt. Would he be scared? Most definitely. What would he do about Ryan? No idea.

Ryan walked out of Chandler's room and looked around with a confused look on his face. 

"That was quick." Chandler commented.

"She wasn't home." His voice showing his confusion. "She did say to call her didn't she?" Joey thought…long and hard.

"Yeah Ross said to call her."

"At home?"

"He didn't say otherwise." 

"I should probably go. Maybe she is there and just didn't hear the phone."

"Do you want a ride?" Chandler offered.

"No that's okay I'll just take a cab."

"Are you sure? Monica wouldn't be too happy if I let her son take a cab home alone."

"Given your past history," which he really didn't much about but he thought he'd go out on a limb, "do you think Mom would want you to drive me home? Besides I take cabs all the time."

"Okay but if something happens, don't blame it on me." 

"Promise."

"Okay well at least let me give you some money for the cab." Ryan put on a sly grin.

"Well if you insist." Joey looked at his watch. 

"Dude you're going to be late for your own birthday."

"It's your birthday? I completely forgot." Chandler knew it was a lie. Hell he knew the date real well. He got a sad almost painful expression on his face. Ryan smiled at him and turned to Joey.

"It's all right. I don't think Mom had anything planned."

"Monica, not have anything planned? Yeah that'll be the day hell freezes over." Ryan laughed and Chandler handed him some money. Ryan looked at him.

"I don't need anywhere near this much."

"Well, happy birthday." Ryan looked genuinely touched.

"Thank you." Well, there was their first father / son moment. It felt good. "I better go and see where mom is. I'll see you later."

"Bye." Both Chandler and Joey said. Ryan shut the door and Chandler slumped into the couch.

"Well that wasn't as painful as I thought it was going to be."

"I told ya." 

"You did not."

"Did too."

"Did n – That's enough. He's nice. And he got huge! I haven't seen him since he was, like, 12. Even then it was only for a minute. It was actually rather amusing. He and Monica went out one side of the door just as I was going in. Then of course there was Richard's funeral when I saw the back of his head."

"Yeah he's a good kid." 

"Monica did a good job." Chandler's voice broke and Joey felt for Chandler. 

You would've too. 

Monica arrived at Ross and Rachel's and got an update of their earlier conversation. 

"Don't worry Mon, Joey said that Chandler didn't know."

"But Ryan knows! And now he knows who Chandler is and where he lives. He can see him whenever he wants and eventually the truth will come out." 

"Mon relax. Now what did Ryan say when you talked to him?"

"What do you mean when I talked to him? He never called me, remember? We went through this."

"No I told Joey to have Ryan call you _after_ that." Monica looked panicked and picked up the phone. She dialed Joey's number.

"He's not there Mon."

"What?"

"He's at Chandler's."

"Oh…right. Could you - ?"

"Yeah I'll call."

The phone rang in Chandler's apartment and Chandler picked up.

"Hello?"

"Chandler, is Joey still there?"

"Yeah. Do you want to talk to him?"

"Yeah thanks." Ross waited as Joey got on the phone.

"Hey Dude, what's up."

"Joey, is Ryan still there?"

"No he went home."

"He did?"

"Yeah a little bit ago. He went to see if Mon – "

At that moment Ryan burst through the door and stared hard at Chandler.

"Did you have an affair with my Mom?" Chandler was at a loss for words.

"Excuse me?" He managed to choke out.

"While my Mom was engaged to my father, did you have an affair with her?"

"No!"

"Don't lie to me." Chandler stood up and stepped forward a bit.

"Ryan, I swear I'm not lying." Ryan had been struggling to keep his cool but finally lost it.

"Then how the hell can you be my father!" Ryan took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. Joey saw the blood drain from Chandler's face as he glanced between them. A look of pure panic crossed Ryan's. Chandler nearly collapsed right then and there but he managed to find his strangled voice.

"What?" It was tiny, scared, and barely audible. Joey continued to look from one to the other.

"Ross, we've got a problem."

To be continued…


	3. Part III

Enjoy!

"Joey? Joey!" Ross tried to reach him but Joey wasn't there. He swallowed and glanced up. "Mon, you need to sit down." 

***

Chandler felt around for the couch but sat down on the coffee table instead. He continued staring at Ryan's now terrified face. 

__

Oh shit what have I done? He knows. Chandler knows. Mom is going to KILL me. Okay he's sitting down. Is he going to pass out cause I don't think I can handle that right now. I need to get out of here!

Ryan mumbled a hurried "I'm sorry" before running out the door. Joey dropped the phone as Chandler ran past him to catch up with his retreating son…apparently. Chandler flew down the stairs after him but by the time he reached the street, Ryan's cab was just taking off into the yellow sea of horns and curses. 

"Dammit!" Chandler put his hands on his knees to try and keep his head from spinning. 

Ross dialed again but the line was busy. Joey never hung up the phone. 

"Ross what happened?" Ross looked over at Monica who was sitting on the couch, her hands clasped tightly in her lap with Rachel sitting next to her.

"I, um, I think Chandler knows."

***

Ryan stumbled up the porch steps and ran into the front door, again, only to find it locked. He frantically searched his pockets, needing to get inside to pass out or throw up, whichever one came first. He finally found the key and opened the door. He ran through the foyer and into the living room where he collapsed on the couch. He cried for the third time that day, letting out all his frustrations and pain into the pillow beneath him. He needed someone, not his mother, she couldn't help him now. Not his Uncle, he was on his Mother's side no doubt. A strange sensation was making him want to call Chandler but he couldn't deal with him right now either. He decided on one person. 

"Hello?"

"Megan?"

"Hey Ryan…are you okay?"

"Can you come over for a little bit?"

"Sure I'll be right there. Stay put I'm coming."

Megan didn't even bother to ring the doorbell like she did when there was a possibility that Monica was home. Monica didn't care if she walked in and out but it was just polite to ring. Monica actually liked the walking in and out. It reminded her of back in the day when nobody knocked. Megan found Ryan sitting on the couch, staring at a blank TV. 

"Ryan?" No answer. She dropped her keys on the kitchen counter and slowly walked over to him. He didn't acknowledge her so she sat across from him on the coffee table and put her hands on his knees. "Ryan? Come on, sweetie, talk to me."

"They lied to me. All this time. And now he knows and I don't know what's going to happen next."

"Hon, what are you talking about?" Megan didn't understand but the situation didn't sound good. Ryan paused and looked at her for the first time since she arrived. That was the great thing about her. She had that quality that no matter what was going on, when you talked she listened and her blue eyes would stare right into yours. Ryan took a deep breath and Megan had talked to him enough to realize that when he started out like that, it was serious. 

"Richard wasn't my father." Megan's jaw dropped and her gazed shifted from his blue eyes that were so much like his father's to the floor. 

"What? How – I mean – What?" Ryan couldn't help but smile. He had expected this kind of reaction from her. You know you've caught her off guard when she can't form complete sentences. 

"My father is a man named Chandler Bing. He has been best friends with Uncle Ross, Aunt Rachel, Uncle Joey, _and _Aunt Phoebe since forever ago. Apparently he and Mom used to date. I don't know how serious it was. I guess pretty serious because they don't talk anymore. I mean, I knew that I was born before my parents got married but they were _engaged_. How can this man, whose name I've heard only like two times in passing, be my father?" Megan was careful in choosing her words.

"Maybe they had an affair."

"No he swears that they didn't."

"Ryan how do you know that he's telling the truth? You only just met the man."

"There's something in him. I know he's not lying."

"Have you talked to your mom?"

"No I can't. Not yet."

"You can stay over at my house if you want. My parents aren't home, but they won't care. I mean it's you." Ryan smiled. " I know it's your birthday so you don't have to but - " 

"Can I?" Megan smiled.

"Sure." She wrapped her arms around him and he fell into her hug. They sat there like that for a very long time. How long? They didn't know. It didn't matter. If Monica had seen them now, a hundred memories would've come flooding back. The times that she and Chandler had been in that same position were too many to count. "Do you want to get some stuff together?"

"Yeah." He leaned back and wiped his eyes. "Can you come with me? I want to show you something."

"Okay." He led her up to the attic and he stood at the top of the stairs staring at the box. 

Megan looked at him and then at the box, silently understanding. She went over and knelt down next to it. She picked up the birth certificate from on top and sure enough, next to "father" it said Chandler Bing. She glanced up at him and new tears started to form in his eyes. She set it aside and peered into the box. She couldn't help but feel like she was violating Monica and Chandler's privacy. Whoever this Chandler person was. 

"Are you sure you want me to do this?" Ryan nodded.

She looked in again. She saw a worn sock made out to look like a bunny, a pair of dice taped together so a hard eight was showing if you turned it the right way, a blue Caesar's sweatshirt, shampoo from the London Marriot, a broken key, a can of lemon-lime soda, an old NYU T-shirt, a CD, and some random video tapes. Megan carefully pulled each out and showed them to Ryan who still stood at the top of the stairs. There was more stuff in the box but Ryan sat next to her when she pulled out the movies so she waited for him to say something. 

He picked up the tapes and turned them over in his hands. Megan understood what he wanted to do.

"If you want, you can bring them to my house and watch them." Ryan looked up and nodded, still remaining silent. "Come on let's get you packed." They got up and walked down the stairs, leaving the box full of memories in the middle of the empty attic.

***

Monica's reaction to the news that Ross broke to her definitely wasn't good. It started out with a calm, "What?" which then was proceeded by shouts of "How" and "Why" and numerous profanities. The full gravity of the situation hitting her, she passed out and was now lying in Ross and Rachel's bedroom. 

Chandler's wasn't much better. After Ryan's words sunk in and after his sprint down the stairs, Chandler was left with a rather guilty looking Joey. They stood a few feet apart on the cold December afternoon with the city rushing by them. Chandler looked right at Joey but Joey seemed to be looking everywhere but.

"Is he right? Am I his father?" Chandler sounded startlingly calm. Joey looked at him and then at his shoes, giving Chandler the answer he already knew in his heart to be true. "Oh my - " Chandler almost lost it, bending over and putting his head in his hands, not able to complete his sentence. He finally straightened up and Joey saw his eyes were red with unshed tears. Chandler hadn't let himself cry in a long time. Joey saw so much pain behind those eyes and at that moment it registered to him what they had actually done. They kept Chandler away from his child. Chandler's next question made Joey hate himself. "You knew… for how long?" 

"Since Ryan's birth." Chandler tried his best to fight the tears and turned his back on Joey. "I'm sorry. Do you know how badly we wanted to tell you? You're my best - " Joey stopped when Chandler spun around.

"You _all_ know? All this time you knew I had a _son?_ And you never told me. Never." 

"Monica made us swear not to tell."

"And how did she think I would feel when I found out?"

"Maybe she was hoping that you wouldn't."

"So she would just lie to all of us? To me, to Ryan, even to Richard?"

"Richard knew." Chandler looked at him incredulously.

"Richard knew? And raised him anyway?"

"He loved Monica." 

"Well so did I!" Chandler yell brought stares from curious onlookers. 

"You told us not to tell Monica that you were going to propose."

"Yes because she had already chosen Richard. What good would it have done?"

"A hell of a lot! She chose Richard because he offered."

"He offered. He _offered_? That's why she chose him? I offered _twice _before that and did you see her jumping to marry me? No!"

"Chandler did you think about _why_ you offered before? Because you were sorry and because you were crazy."

"We weren't crazy, we just weren't ready."

"Well Richard was ready when you weren't."

"Then why the hell did I spend $8,000 on a ring if I wasn't ready?" Joey sighed. He didn't know what to say that would ease his friend's pain. "Joey, if she loved me she would've trusted me. She knew me better than that."

"Maybe she only thought she knew you."

"Twelve years of friendship, two of which were the best of my life? Joey, nobody knew me better. She just didn't want me."

"Yes she did."

"Then why the hell did she marry him?"

"She wanted you but she was afraid that you didn't want her! Why do you think she hurried off to marry Richard? She thought she was carrying the child of a man who didn't want to commit. Remember the whole 'throw her off track' thing? She needed a safety net and Richard was there for her."

"Yeah, well so was I. She just didn't give me a chance. Just one more night was all I needed. If she had waited one more night how different would things be now? If she wasn't so quick to marry him, my son would not be running away from me right now!" Joey walked over and hugged Chandler. He realized that Chandler was shaking.

"Come on let's go inside."

FLASHBACK 2005

Chandler ran up to the desk in the emergency room and waited as the nurse finished up her conversation with the person on the other side.

"Can I help you?"

"Um, I hope so. I'm looking for Ryan Burke. He was brought in here earlier from his day care." Chandler fidgeted with his tie. Why was he so nervous? Because he was meeting Monica's son. A son that he and Monica should've had together instead of Old Man River. The nurse checked the computer.

"I'm sorry we don't have anyone named Ryan Burke under our care." Chandler looked puzzled. 

"Could you check under Ryan Geller please?" The nurse checked again and sure enough up came Ryan Geller. _Why is his name Geller?_

"He's in pediatrics, floor 3 room 328. You'll need a pass. Can I have your name please?"

"Chandler Bing."

"Are you related?"

"Us? No, I'm a good friend of the family and I'm just staying with him until his Mom or Uncle come." If only he knew.

"Here you go, the elevators are ahead to your left." Chandler took the slip of paper.

"Thank you." 

The elevator doors opened and up ahead were the doors labeled Pediatrics. He walked up to the desk, informed them that he was visiting Ryan Geller, and make his way to room 328. He knocked on the door and slowly opened it. In the bed was a rather small looking boy, thin from lack of food and so pale, he almost blended in with the sheets. Chandler tiptoed over to the bed and sat down in the chair. Ryan was so tiny. Chandler knew he was about three but he had never really seen a three year old up close since Ben. The boy was asleep but Chandler could tell he was uncomfortable from the beads of sweat along his forehead and the feet that would not stop kicking. Chandler smoothed the hair back from his face and tucked the sheets in around him. Ryan stopped moving. Chandler gave a sad smile and just watched him sleep, studying him.

__

He must've gotten his brown hair from his father. Definitely has his mother's nose. Chandler's thoughts were interrupted when Ryan grabbed onto his hand and held it. It comforted him just like a security blanket. Ryan's eyes fluttered open and darted around the room finally landing on Chandler. Chandler watched him cautiously, not having much experience with little people, and Ryan stared back with the same look of apprehension. 

"Where am I?" Chandler cleared his throat.

"Um, you're at the hospital. You got a little sick at school and so they had to take you here so the doctors could fix you up and make you all better."

"Are you a doctor?"

"No I'm not."

"Where's my Mommy?"

"She's on her way with your Aunt Rachel."

"What about Uncle Ross?"

"He has to teach school right now but he'll be over as soon as he can."

"So who are you then if you're not a doctor?"

"I'm a friend of your Mommy's and Aunt Rachel and Uncle Ross. My name is – "

At that moment the doctor walked in. "Hi I'm Dr. Malone. You must be Chandler Bing."

"Yes I am." Chandler stood up and shook his hand.

"Mr. Geller told us all about you." Chandler smiled.

"Well don't believe everything you hear." Ryan was looking between the two of them. 

"Ryan's condition seems to be improving. We've got him on Penicillin and some other antibiotics and they are doing their job. I just came back to check him again." 

"Okay." Chandler sat back down in the chair as the doctor moved toward the bed getting out his stethoscope. 

"NO!" Ryan scooted away from the doctor.

"Ryan I promise this won't hurt a bit."

"NO!" This time Ryan climbed from the bed onto Chandler's lap. Chandler was surprised at first and didn't really know what to do. He scooted his chair closer to the bed so Ryan's IV wouldn't pull. Then he put his arms around the trembling three year old and whispered comforting words into his ear. 

"Ryan, it's okay. I promise you the doctor won't hurt you. He's here to help you. You know how icky you feel right now?" Ryan nodded. "Well he'll make that all go away, you just need to let him help you. Here hold my hand and if it hurts at all then just squeeze my hand and we'll make it stop." Ryan slowly nodded and the doctor started to move closer. Ryan held Chandler's hand as the doctor listened to his heart and checked his breathing. "You're doing great, Ryan. Does it hurt?" Ryan shook his head.

"It tickles." Chandler grinned and looked at the doctor who gave him an appreciative smile. Chandler knew he had made his job a lot easier. Chandler gestured to his stethoscope.

"May I?" The doctor nodded and handed the stethoscope to Chandler as he checked off some things on Ryan's chart. 

"Ryan want to hear something really cool?" Ryan nodded and Chandler put the ear pieces in his ears and placed the stethoscope on his heart. Ryan's face lit up and jaw dropped. 

"Is that my heart?" 

"Yup. Cool huh?" Ryan nodded his head energetically and moved the piece all over his chest. The doctor looked at Chandler.

"You're great with kids. Do you have any?"

"No. Someday maybe." The doctor continued to check Ryan's ears, nose, and throat and the examination was over right after the doctor retrieved the stethoscope, much to Ryan's dismay. He was still seated in Chandler's lap and seemed quite content.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Ryan nodded his head, exhaustion from the stethoscope excitement already taking hold of his tiny body. "I'll be right back." Ryan nodded again as Chandler picked him up and placed him on the bed. He went to the front desk and requested a Disney movie. He returned back and popped Beauty and the Beast into the VCR. He moved to sit in the chair but he heard Ryan protest. Chandler looked over and Ryan scooted over giving Chandler room to lay next to him on the bed. As soon as Chandler laid down, Ryan snuggled up next to him and Chandler put his arm around him. By the time the Beast turned into the prince, both were asleep. 

Ross walked into the room and stopped in his tracks. The scene before him was so adorable he only wished that he had a camera. The two before him look so much alike it was scary. He secretly wished that Monica would show up and see them together and realize what a mistake she made. He got his wish. A few minutes later Monica came skidding to a stop right outside Ryan's room but Ross put his finger to his mouth and told her to be quiet. She peered in the room and her breath caught. Tears welled up in her eyes and she had to bite her lip to keep it from quivering. There he was, lying beside his own son and yet he didn't have a clue. The two people she loved most in her life were side by side sleeping so soundly. She tiptoed over to the chair and sat down never taking her eyes off of Chandler. Ross silently exited and looked for Rachel who was waiting outside. 

Monica moved to take Chandler's hand but shifted it up to his face and brushed a stray hair from his forehead. She reached over to Ryan and kissed him on the forehead, feeling a little fever still there. Chandler shifted and opened his eyes. They went wide when he saw Monica, not expecting to wake up and see her right next to him. 

"Hi." Chandler looked down.

"Hi." Chandler glanced at Ryan, smiled sadly and lifted up his small arm to slide out of the bed. "Is Ross here?"

"Yeah he's waiting just outside."

"Okay." Chandler looked at his shoes. "I think I'll go then." Chandler moved towards the door.

"Chandler, wait." He sighed and slowly turned. 'Thank you. Thank you so much. I know this wasn't easy but thank you." Chandler nodded.

"Your welcome. He's – he's a great kid." Monica smiled. Chandler turned to go before Monica could say anything else. She stared after his retreating figure until Ryan stirred and broke her from her train of thought.

"Mommy?"

"I'm here, baby."

"Where'd my friend go?"

"He had to leave sweetie."

"Oh." 

That was the first and last time Ryan had spoken to his father and he didn't even know his name. 

PRESENT DAY…

Ryan and Megan sat on the floor of her living room as Ryan eyed the tape in his hand. 

"You do realize that it won't play unless you put it in the VCR don't you?" Ryan smiled and looked over at her.

"I think you've been spending too much time around me."

"Never." Ryan finally crawled forward and put the tape in and crawled back. 

"I can't believe you guys still have one of these."

"Yeah well it's my Mom's theory: if it still works why get rid of it?" They sat there for another moment. "Now the key is to push 'play." 

"Yeah, yeah I'm gettin' there." He picked up the remote, turned the TV on and pushed play. They watched the screen as the apartment that Ryan was just in hours before came into view. He could hear his Uncle's voice.

__

Ross: Okay this is the annual Christmas present search. But shhhh! Don't tell Monica! (Rachel popped up from behind the couch)

"Oh my God Aunt Rachel looks so young!"

__

Rachel: Well if you're recording this on **her** tape with **her** video camera, don't ya think that's giving it away just a bit?

Ross: Yeah who asked you? (Rachel put her hands up and continued to search under the couch. Ross moved the video camera around to see Phoebe rummaging through the drawers below the TV, Joey eating Cheerios off of the tree and Chandler sitting on the couch reading a magazine. _Chandler aren't ya gonna help?_

Chandler: (Not looking up from the magazine)_ Nope._

Ross: How come? (camera zooms in on Chandler)

Chandler: Because it ruins Christmas if you know what you're gonna get from Santa. 

Ross: Chandler you do know that Santa isn't real. 

Chandler: (pause while a look of disbelief crosses his face)…_he's not? You mean no 'ho-ho-ho-ing' or bowls full of jelly shaking? _

Ross: Chandler shut up and help look.

Chandler: (the look of disbelief was replaced with a glare, his game having been shot down by Ross) _Well sugarplums won't be dancin' over your head tonight I can tell ya that! _

Megan laughed. "I can see where you get it from." Ryan shot her a look but there was a playful glint in his eyes. The camera changed from Christmas to the middle of a pillow fight. Although it was more like a war. It started out Chandler vs. Joey vs. Ross. It was in Uncle Joey's apartment because no doubt his Mom would've hated the all the feathers in hers. First Chandler nailed Ross in the head then Joey hit Chandler in the side. Ross found an opening to hit Joey and then both Chandler and Joey ganged up on Ross. He turned to the camera.

__

Ross: Monica! They're not being fair!

Monica: Sweetie, you're playing with the big boys now! (Chandler and Joey stopped)

__

Chandler: You hear that Joey? We're big boys! 

Ryan and Megan laughed but winced as Ross took that moment to tackle both Chandler and Joey to the floor. Finally after a few more minutes they all had to stop because they were laughing too hard. Chandler got up slowly and stumbled over to the camera.

__

Chandler: All right, Mon. Your turn.

Monica: Don't you dare.

Chandler: Come on. (He gets closer to the camera)

__

Monica: (laughter) Chandler stay away from me! (he keeps coming closer)_ I mean it, Chandler Bing._

Chandler: Do you really think that calling me by my full name is going to help you in any way? (he keeps coming forward)

__

Monica: Chandler I've got a camera. Please don't break the camera.

Chandler: Then put the camera down.

Monica: (stubbornly) No. Cause as long as I still have the camera, you can't touch me.

Chandler: Oh I can't?

Monica: (laughing) No you can't. (The camera backs away from Chandler until he lunges at her, she shrieks with laughter, and the camera goes fuzzy).

Ryan hit the stop button, unable to watch anymore. His eyes filled with tears again.

"You know, in all the years I knew my parents, they weren't nearly as happy as Mom was with Chandler right there." Megan looked at him and rubbed his back as he stared at the blank screen.

***

Monica, completely exhausted from the day's events, continued sleeping in Emma's room. It was a sleep filled with dreams of perfect families and houses in the suburbs, Christmas mornings and New Year's kisses. Chandler was in every single one. 

Ryan and Megan slept curled up on the floor of her living room, his arm draped protectively across her stomach. He didn't know how, but he knew that he was going to marry her some day and they would be like his Mom and Chandler in the video. Not like how his parents used to be: no "I love you's" or laughter. Marriage just seemed like a chore. His life wouldn't be like that. Megan wouldn't let it be like that. He was lulled to sleep by the steady breathing of the girl he'd been in love with for as long as he could remember. 

Chandler sat on the window seat of the apartment and stared across the street. Ross and Rachel's window was dark but he knew she was over there. Joey told him. He still remembered what she looked like when she slept. So peaceful, so beautiful. He loved to watch her sleep. Now all he was satisfied with was a dark window across the street and an empty space beside him. He looked down at the object he played with in his hands. How many times he stared at this, he couldn't count. It made him so happy to look at it at one time. Now it just brought him heartache. He opened and closed the lid as the moon gleamed off the diamond in the middle. 

To be continued…


	4. Part IV

Monica woke to the sounds of laughter and the smells of breakfast. She stretched and looked around. The laughter was not her son's and the bedroom was certainly not hers. Then, all the memories from the previous day came screaming back at her and she flopped back down and screamed into the pillow. She heard the door open and someone tiptoe across the carpet.

"Aunt Monica?" Monica lifted the pillow from her face, looked at her niece and smiled.

"I'm up, sweetie."

"Okay. Dad just wanted me to see if you wanted breakfast. Monica's stomach rumbled an answer reminding her that she had slept through dinner. _Dinner! Dinner, Ryan's birthday dinner! Oh my God!_ Emma saw the look on Monica's face.

"Don't worry. Mom checked and Ryan stayed at Megan's last night."

"Thank you." Monica's stomach rumbled again. "I think I will have some breakfast. Wait, did your Mom make it?" Emma shook her head, sharing her Aunt's feelings about her Mother's cooking.

"No. Dad did thank God." Monica laughed and crawled out of bed.

Ryan rolled over and woke up.

"Owwww." Came the sleepy reply. Ryan opened his eyes to see that he had indeed rolled onto Megan and her muffled complaint was barely heard. "Leave me alone. Go get your own side of the carpet." Ryan smiled and rolled the other way making sure not to disturb her anymore. Megan was not what you would call a morning person. She did however rest her head on his chest. He played with her curly brown hair.

"Hey stay on _your_ side of the carpet." She smiled sleepily.

"You're comfier." He smiled and hugged her as she fell back asleep. Ryan however couldn't sleep as the previous day rushed back at him and all he could think about was the inevitable confrontation with his mother that soon waited.

Chandler woke to a sudden pain in his neck. He looked around and realized he had fallen asleep on the window seat. He rubbed his sore muscles and stretched out his aching body. He looked at his watch and realized that he was late for work. Normally he wouldn't care but after things ended with Monica, he became a workaholic, throwing himself into everything that he did. Chandler jumped off the seat and ran into his room to change. He slowly emerged and flopped on the couch, realizing that it was Saturday.

Ross and Rachel greeted Monica and served breakfast. There was relatively no conversation except for Emma talking about school and the new play that she was in. Ross and Rachel feared she was already following Uncle Joey's path. Emma went on excitedly but Monica could only think about how much her own son must hate her right now. She excused herself and went into the bathroom and cried.

Joey and Phoebe opened Chandler's door cautiously and looked around. No sign of him. Phoebe got nervous.

"You don't think he threw himself off the roof do you?" Joey's eyes went wide at the thought.

"No, not Chandler! He can't leave me!"

"Well what if he never forgives you for not telling him he had a son."

"Hey you didn't tell him either!"

"Yeah but you live across the hall from him so you had more chances to." Joey hung his head.

"I suppose you're right." Phoebe looked at him triumphantly. Chandler sat up from the couch that he was laying on and looked at his friends before him.

"Guys I will forgive you, it'll just take time. I'm hurt that you didn't tell me that's all." Joey walked over to him.

"So you're not mad at Joey?" Chandler smiled.

"Well I'm a little mad at Joey. But it'll go away." Joey tackled him in a hug. "Just don't do it again." Joey pulled away and saluted.

"Yes, sir. Sorry, sir." Joey then sniffed the air.

"What no food? What's the point of me even coming over here anymore?" Chandler just shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know, Joe. I mean for what other reason could you possibly want to come over here?" Joey shrugged his shoulders and said in all seriousness,

"You got me." Chandler shook his head and looked over at Phoebe.

"Hey Pheebs."

"Are you still mad at me too?"

"A little. I'm more mad at Monica than at you. Come on. You want food? I'm taking you out for breakfast."

"I knew I liked you for a reason." And Joey ran out the door.

Megan rolled over and felt the spot next to her. It was empty. She opened one eye and squinted in the morning sun. Ryan was gone. She groaned and made her body sit up.

"Morning, Sunshine." Megan whipped around and saw Ryan stirring a frying pan behind her.

"What are you doing up this early?"

"What do you mean early? It's 10:00." Megan looked at him incredulously.

"It's 10:00? As in A.M.? Oh I'm going back to bed." She laid back down and pulled the blanket that Ryan had covered her with over her head.

"Oh no you don't." He set the pan back on the stove and walked over the sleeping lump in front of him. "Come on, Meg. Get up." It wasn't working. "Please? We have to celebrate my birthday." He could see her shake her head underneath the blanket. "Hey we went to Six Flags for your birthday!"

"And we can do that for yours, just give me a couple more hours," came the muffled reply.

"Yeah it's a shame that Six Flags isn't open in December!"

"Oh, too bad. I guess I'll just have to sleep then."

"That's it." Ryan bent down and started tickling her until she was practically crying with laughter.

"Okay! Okay! Mercy!"

"Are you going to get up now?" Megan pouted but conceded.

"Fine. But the blanket stays with me." She got up, wrapped the blanket around her, and marched to the kitchen to help make breakfast.

Monica called Megan's house but was informed that Ryan wasn't really in the mood to talk. She sighed and decided to go home so if he came back she would be there. The drive there was spent going over opening lines to the big speech that she going to make to Ryan about why she lied to him. She returned home to a dark, empty house. There was nothing more depressing than that. She immediately remembered when she would work late, she would come home to find the kitchen light on and Chandler usually asleep on the couch, failing to wait up for her. Sighing, she dropped her keys on the kitchen counter and hit the button on the answering machine. Ryan's voice filled the air.

"Mom, I just wanted to let you know that I'm okay but I'll be staying at Megan's for the weekend. I just can't deal with this right now and I need some time to think. Please do me one favor…talk to Chandler. Please. I don't know what happened between you guys but I can't live with you two never speaking or seeing each other. Families aren't like that and no matter how hard you try to deny it Mom, we're a family, whether you like it or not." Ryan's voice started to crack. "Talk to him. I won't talk to you until you talk to him. I know I'm being childish but after living with you for seventeen years, I know that's the only way to make you do it. I love you and I'll be home Sunday night. Bye."

Monica rubbed her temples and Ross' voice filled the air.

"Hey Mon, you left your wallet here by accident. It must've fallen out when you dropped your bag. It'll be dropped off later. Love ya bye."

"You have no new messages." Monica's life was exhilarating. Messages from her brother and her son and even that was a lot for her. She trudged up the stairs and flopped on her bed. She curled under the covers, wanting nothing more than to just lay there and never get up. She flipped through the channels and came across a Christmas favorite, "It's a Wonderful Life." Monica fell asleep as a clumsy angel decided George Bailey's fate.

A few hours later, Monica shifted in the bed finally sitting up. She looked around and rubbed her eyes. She turned the TV off and looked at the alarm clock. 7:23. Monica needed to get up and at least try to talk to Chandler. She knew Ryan. If he said he wouldn't talk to her then their conversations from then on would be short and not-so-sweet.

She picked up the phone and held it in her hand. Of course she remembered the number but she really didn't want to dial it. Finally she punched in the numbers as slowly as possible and listened to see if he would pick up. She counted the rings as they went bye and waited for the answering machine, mostly relieved that he hadn't been home.

_Hey you've reached Chandler Bing, I'm not here to take your call but leave a message and maybe I'll call you back. BEEE – _Hello?" Monica froze. He was there. "Hello?" Monica took a deep breath.

"Chandler." There was a pause at the other end of the line.

"Monica."

"Chandler we need to ta - " but he hung up. Monica knew it wasn't going to be easy. She put the phone to her forehead and then hung up. _Chandler, please give me a chance. _

Chandler sat there staring at the phone after he hung up. He couldn't deal with her right now. He needed to talk to someone. Joey and Phoebe wouldn't understand and he wasn't on the best terms with Ross just because he was related to Monica, a bad excuse though it was, so he decided to turn to Rachel.

Rachel walked into the coffee shop and found Chandler sitting on the couch, hunched over with his head in his hands. She walked over and placed her hand on his shoulder. He put his hand on top of hers.

"I'm so sorry." Chandler nodded. She sat down next to him and rubbed his back. "She probably wouldn't have told us either except that we figured it out. We made her explain it to us. She made us swear not to tell you because she said it would just complicate things. At the time we thought we were doing the right thing, but only now do I realize how wrong we were. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'm not mad at you guys. You were being loyal to a friend, and if it were me I would hope to find that loyalty in friends like you."

"I know but we - "

"Rach. No. You didn't do anything, okay?" She nodded her head and hugged him. "But now I need you to help me. I need to talk to Ryan. I can't talk to Monica yet. I just can't look at her right now. Please tell me where Ryan is." Rachel looked at him, knowing that he needed this just as much as she needed forgiveness.

"He's staying at a friend's."

Ryan looked across the table at Megan who was eating a taco. He looked at his own cheeseburger and then glanced at the people wandering around the food court of the mall. They didn't know what kind of a hell his life had turned into. Megan was the only one and that was because he poured his heart out to her.

"Not hungry?" Ryan shook his head. "We can go home if you want."

"No, no I want to stay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Let's go see a movie."

"A movie?" He nodded. "Which one?"

"You pick."

Monica wandered aimlessly around the house, picking up things and dusting surfaces. Finally she realized that she couldn't stay in the house by herself while her son was out hating her. "Hate" was a strong word but he definitely thoroughly disliked her at the moment. She grabbed her keys and headed over to Phoebe's not wanting to deal with her brother or better yet, be only right across the street from Chandler.

Megan pulled the car to a stop a little ways away from her house and shut off the engine. One of the neighbors was having a party so it was hard to find parking. She turned to Ryan.

"Please say something." He laughed a little bit.

"You know what?"

"What?" He put on that adorable pout that she loved so much.

"I miss my Mom." She laughed and ruffled his hair.

"Mamma's Boy."

"Seriously. I've never really been mad at her before. I was always closer to her than I was with my Dad. He almost made me feel like I was a disappointment to him, like I didn't live up to his standards. I just miss little things like her cleaning up after me or making me breakfast."

"Hey I would've made you breakfast, you just happen to get up earlier than I do…a lot earlier."

"I know and I love you for it." He kissed her on the cheek and his expression turned serious. "Thank you. Thank you for everything; for taking me in and feeding me and…ya know, hugging me. Thank you for being here."

"I'll always be here." She kissed his cheek and hugged him. "Come on, I'm cold." Ryan smiled and opened the door. They walked down the sidewalk a little bit and turned to go up her walkway. Ryan stopped dead in his tracks and looked up at the figure walking down the porch steps.

"Chandler."

To be continued…


	5. Part V

Enjoy!

Chandler nearly fell down the stairs when he heard his name. He looked up, into the eyes of his son and just stood there.

"Hi, Ryan."

"H-Hi. Wh-, um, what are you doing here?" Chandler took a step forward.

"I came to see if you were all right…and to talk to you. Is that okay?" Ryan stood there for a moment and shyly nodded his head. For the first time Chandler noticed the girl who had her arm protectively around his waist. He extended his hand. "You must be Megan." She smiled and took it.

"You must be Chandler. Come on in and you guys can…catch up." She smiled casually but she knew that she would get them to talk even if it took her all night.

She led Chandler inside and showed him to the couch.

"Can I get you anything to eat or drink?"

"No I'm good, thank you."

"Ryan do you want anything?" He shook his head. Megan went to the kitchen and grabbed a soda. She knew Ryan better. If he didn't have some sort of caffeine he would get even more nervous and fidgety. She walked back out and placed it on the coffee table in front of him. He smiled up at her gratefully and she winked at him. She retreated back into the kitchen, flipped the tiny TV on, and sat on a stool, trying to give them their privacy, yet dying to know what was going on. Chandler looked uneasily at Ryan who was staring at his hands.

"Ryan we need to talk."

"Yes we do."

"Can I just ask you a question first though? How did you know I was your father?"

"It started when I got this assignment to make a family tree in history. I was looking for some old pictures in the attic and I found my birth certificate…Your name was next to "father." Chandler nodded his head.

"So yesterday at the apartment…you knew?"

"I'm sorry. I was really scared to talk to you about it, I mean I had just found out only hours earlier. I wasn't ready. And, well, I just wanted to get to know you before you knew I was your son." Ryan saw something flicker behind Chandler's eyes when he said "I was your son" but it was gone before he could be sure. His eyes did get a little teary though.

"It's okay I - " Ryan cut him off though.

"And I'm sorry for accusing you of having an affair with my Mom. It just seemed, well, I had to know. But don't tell my Mom I asked you that or she'll kill me."

"I promise I won't." Chandler gave a little laugh. "I guess she screwed us both over huh?" Ryan smiled at him before his anxiety kicked in once again.

"Chandler, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"How are you my father? I mean I know _how_…but I thought my Mom was engaged to my Da – to Richard." Chandler sighed at his son's careful attempt not to point out that he had had another father all his life.

"Ryan, Richard was your father. You don't have to stop calling him Dad while I'm around. I mean, I haven't been much of a father now have I? I haven't exactly earned the title."

"That wasn't your fault. You didn't know." Ryan sighed. "Besides, Richard and I weren't always on the greatest of terms." Chandler looked confused. "He resented me I think. I mean I have a half brother and a half sister that are your age. I think he was done with the whole "father" thing." Chandler nodded and was silent. They both sat there for a while, neither saying a thing. Chandler felt so guilty and Ryan felt so alone. He had a strong desire to hug the man before him but wasn't sure how Chandler would take it. Chandler finally spoke.

"Your Mom and I had been going out for two years." Ryan looked up surprised but Chandler didn't meet his gaze. He was staring down at the floor, his hands intertwining in nervousness. "At that time I had known her for about 10 or 11 years. We were best friends and at your Uncle's second wedding we got together. We went out for two years, lived together for one and I had finally gotten the urge to propose. But on the night that I was going to, Richard showed up at the restaurant and sat at the table next to us so I couldn't do it with your Mom's ex boyfriend sitting right there."

"Ex boyfriend? They had gone out before?"

"Oh yeah sorry, I forgot to mention it. They went out for awhile about two years before your mom and I got together. They broke up because he didn't want to have kids and she did."

"Well that explains a lot." Ryan's bitterness wasn't masked.

"So because he was there I decided to wait but of course all of your aunts and uncles had assumed that I had proposed. They had almost given it away so many times and I thought that Monica was beginning to catch on. So to keep it a surprise, I decided to throw her off track and make her think that marriage was the last thing that I ever wanted to do. When really I had the engagement ring in my pocket."

"And that was a bad idea?"

"I've regretted it every day for the past 18 years." Ryan nodded finally understanding Chandler's pain. "Apparently your father had come into her work the next day, told her that he loved her, wanted to marry her, but most of all…wanted to have kids with her. So here she is with a boyfriend who doesn't want to commit and the old love of her life who wants everything that she does." Chandler's voice started to waver. He swallowed hard and gave a bitter laugh. "The odds seemed to be a little bit in his favor. I don't really blame her. I mean she made a decision."

"But it's not the decision you would've made." Chandler shook his head.

"Well before I could propose, she told me she was marrying Richard. A couple of months later I heard the happy couple was having the baby that she always wanted. A baby that I promised to give her."

"But you did." Chandler nodded and finally looked up into his son's eyes.

"I know. I just wasn't there to share it." A tear finally slipped down Ryan's cheek and he fiercely hugged Chandler who hugged back. They stayed like that for a long time neither wanting to let go. Finally Ryan realized that he couldn't feel his legs and pull back just little.

"Sorry, I've lost all feeling from the waist down." Chandler laughed.

"Me too."

"I should probably go check on Megan."

Ryan walked into the kitchen to find Megan sound asleep at the dinner table. He walked over and picked her up as Chandler came to the door.

"Wouldn't it be easier to just wake her up?"

"If you value your life, don't ever wake her up."

Monica paced the living room as Phoebe cooked in the kitchen.

"I'm telling ya, Monica, these cookies are the best ever! One taste will make you want to run the Pillsbury Doughboy over with a steamroller." Monica laughed and walked into the kitchen.

"Thanks for letting me stay here."

"No problem. Have you talked to Chandler yet?"

"Well I got out a total of 5 words before he hung up on me. Has he talked to you?"

"Yeah he said he wasn't mad at me but he definitely wasn't too happy with you. Sorry hon."

"Well I don't blame him."

"Mon, what exactly happened that night?"

"I told him that I was leaving."

"Just like that? Boy you sure know how to break a guy's heart." Monica hung her head.

"Not _exactly_ like that but I didn't really go into detail. I had to get out of there as soon as possible."

"Why?"

"Because the longer I stayed, the harder it was to say goodbye." Phoebe was silent for a moment.

"Did you really say goodbye?" Monica laughed.

"Yes I did say goodbye. And then I kissed him on the cheek and walked out the door." Phoebe winced.

"God, I hope you don't ever break up with me. I would never forgive you." Monica gave a small, sad smile.

"That's what I'm afraid of."

Chandler tiptoed up the stairs and walked to the first door on the left. He stood there for a moment and knocked. No answer. He was told that the girl on the other side of the door definitely would not be up but he didn't want another incident like the one he had with Rachel the last time he didn't knock. He slowly opened the door and peered around. Yep she was definitely still asleep. Ryan had to go get something from home so Chandler got stuck with the terrifying duty of waking Megan up. He walked over to the bed and cleared his throat.

"Megan?" He tried a little louder. "Megan?" She shifted a little bit and stretched her arms.

"What no tickle torture today?"

"Well I thought that might be a little awkward." Megan gasped and sat up staring at the man before her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." She laughed.

"It's okay I was just expecting Ryan."

"He had to get something from home so he told me to get you up."

"Oh did he? Probably didn't want to take the risk himself."

"That's what I figured." She smiled.

"Oh I'm sorry. Have you had breakfast?"

"Actually I promised Ryan that I would make you guys breakfast."

"Oh thanks, I'm starving. I'll be downstairs in a minute." She scrambled out of bed and brushed past him into the bathroom.

Chandler stirred the pancake batter as Megan walked down the stairs tying her hair up, her Scooby Doo pants clashing with the Notre Dame T-shirt she was wearing. She sniffed the air and sat down on one of the stools at the breakfast bar, across from Chandler.

"Smells good."

"Well you can thank Aunt Jemima."

"I'll do that next time I talk to her." Chandler smiled. He stopped stirring and got a suspicious grin on his face, one she had seen mirrored on Ryan's face many times.

"So are you and Ryan…?"

"Us? No. Well not really. I mean there's a very thin line between what we have and what most couples have, but we haven't crossed it yet." Chandler sadly smiled.

"Well just be sure that you know what you're doing when you do." Megan looked at him and she saw something deeper behind his eyes. He cleared his throat and continued stirring the pancake batter.

"Chandler?" He looked up. "Can I show you something?" He nodded and she led him over to the TV. She pushed play and immediately Chandler's apartment popped into view.

"Oh my God," he whispered. He sank into the couch as he saw the gang sitting around the living room minus him, Monica and Joey. Monica was cooking in the kitchen and Chandler had wandered up behind her. Joey was the one with the camera. Chandler remembered exactly when this was. When he and Monica were still hiding from everybody and only Joey knew. Joey had apparently caught this on tape, Chandler realized as he watched the scene before him. He heard Joey's voice but it was only a whisper, probably so the others couldn't hear.

__

Joey: Hey guys. This is for you, but you don't know it. Hehe. This is your one month anniversary present from Joey, a.k.a. the Steven Spielberg of home movies. Well I love you guys and have a Happy Secret Anniversary.

The Camera zoomed in on Chandler and Monica. She was cooking at the stove and Chandler came and wrapped his arms around her waist after checking that nobody was looking. He didn't see Joey hiding in the corner. She turned and smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek. He kissed her on the head. You could vaguely hear them talking.

__

Chandler: Hey you.

Monica: Hey you. Do you want to help?

Chandler: (sighing) If I must. (Monica laughs)

Monica: Yes you must. (Chandler puts on one of the aprons and starts stirring something)

__

Chandler: How am I doing so far? (Monica smiles)

Monica: Besides the fact that you look very sexy in that apron, you're making some progress. But you don't really have to help if you don't want to.

Chandler: (looks at his watch)_ Wow, two minutes and I'm getting kicked out already. _(Monica smiles and kisses him. She pulls away but he lingers for a little bit, not wanting to let go. He reluctantly sighs and leans his forehead against hers, closing his eyes. Knowing that they could possibly get caught, he heads back over to the couch, giving Monica a shy glance before he sits down)

__

Rachel: Chandler why do you have flour on your face? (Chandler gets a deer caught in headlights look and glances at Monica for help. Her face goes red)

__

Chandler: Monica smacked me for trying to sneak a taste.

Rachel: (laughing) You should know better than to mess with her while she's in the kitchen.

Chandler: (looks at Monica)_ Yeah I should. _(He winks at her just before you hear Joey say,)

__

Joey: Crap low battery.

The camera goes fuzzy as Chandler sits on the couch staring at the screen. A tear escapes and runs down his face as he glances at Megan who is also staring at the screen.

"Thank you." She turned to look at him. "Thank you I needed that."

"You know Monica always says that Ryan and I remind her of her and her best friend but she never told us who that was. Now I know she was talking about you." Chandler smiled, but lowered his head and wiped his tears.

"Losing her was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I used to fool myself into thinking I was over her. Don't let Ryan go, believe me. You have to fight for what you have if you want any sort of chance at keeping it. I fought but it didn't do me much good."

"I won't let him go, I promise." He smiled at her and the front door opened. Chandler wiped his eyes and went back to the kitchen to finish making breakfast just as Ryan walked into the room. Ryan looked from Megan on the couch to Chandler stirring the batter, no one talking.

"Okay what happened? I leave for a half hour and you guys aren't speaking." Megan looked up.

"Hey who says we aren't speaking."

"Oh yes when I walked in, the chatter was overwhelming." Megan glared at him.

"Actually we were making fun of you but stopped so as not to be rude and talk about you in your presence." Ryan pouted.

"That's not very nice. You're not my best friend anymore!" Megan rolled her eyes.

"Oh please, you've been saying that since the second grade. Ever since I put that frog in your lunch box." Ryan got an offended look on his face.

"Hey, don't bring up bad memories like that!"

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know that the frog was so emotionally scarring!" Ryan opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Megan got a triumphant grin on her face as Ryan slumped across from Chandler, who looked on bemused. Since Ryan lost that battle, he decided to change the subject.

"So you haven't burned down the kitchen yet."

"Yeah aren't you proud of me?"

"Very."

"First batch of pancakes is ready."

Monica walked out of the bedroom and was greeted with a smiling Phoebe.

"Why are you so cheerful?"

"Because we're going on a field trip!"

"Excuse me?"

"Yep, we're going to go see Chandler!" Phoebe said it like it was the most exciting thing in the world. Monica stared at her like she was crazy.

"Phoebe, no."

"Come on it'll be fun!"

"Yeah fun in an awkward, want to gouge out my eyes kinda way."

"You were the one who wanted to see him."

"But he obviously doesn't want to see me."

"That's why we're going to surprise him!"

"Phoebe I'm going home."

"Come on! I was looking forward to being the chaperone!"

"Sorry to burst your bubble, Pheebs. I will talk to Chandler someday but today is definitely not that day. I have to go prepare for the verbal abuse I'm going to get from my son. Okay? Goodbye." Monica walked out the door and Phoebe ran after her.

"Chandler was with Ryan last night!" Monica stopped dead in her tracks and slowly turned.

"What?"

"Chandler went to Megan's last night with Ryan."

"How do you - "

"Ryan told Ross, who told Rachel, who told me." Monica put her head in her hands. "Relax, they're just bonding. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Yes but I kinda wanted to be there to…supervise or something."

"What's gonna happen, huh? Are they going to cohort against you?" Monica's eyes went wide. "Nevermind I didn't say that! I didn't say anything." Monica continued to stare at her wide-eyed. "Come on, let's go on a real field trip!" Phoebe dragged Monica out the door. "So the marina or the zoo? Oooh the wax museum!"

Chandler sat on the couch with Megan next to him and Ryan at her feet. They had just finished breakfast and were debating on a movie.

"Chandler don't you have something better to do?"

"Are you trying to kick me out?"

"No, no. I mean I doubt you spend all your time hanging out with teenagers on Sunday afternoons."

"You're right, but I should do it more often." Ryan smiled and then jumped to his feet.

"I forgot. I found something at home and wanted to ask you about it." Ryan pulled a letter out of his pocket. "Did you write this?" Chandler looked at the letter and slowly nodded.

"Just because your Mom broke my heart doesn't mean that I can't send you a birthday card."

"I know. I just wanted to say that it was the best card I've ever gotten. Thank you." Chandler smiled.

"You're welcome. Actually I should probably go. I have work to do before I go in tomorrow morning."

"Okay but first I have something for you." Ryan went over to a box that he dropped by the door and pulled out a framed picture. He handed it to Chandler who stared down at it.

"This was taken when I was five months old I think." Chandler traced the baby with his finger and looked up at Ryan with misty eyes.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Well I have to go talk to your Mother sometime and get this sorted out."

"She'll be home tonight. But it will probably turn into World War IV before dinner." Chandler laughed.

"Thanks for the warning." He made his way to the door and Ryan and Megan followed. Chandler turned to go but Ryan hugged him and he hugged back.

"Bye."

"Bye." He walked to his car.

"Don't be a stranger!" Megan called as he walked down the sidewalk.

"Promise!"

Monica paced back and forth from the kitchen to the front door and back again. She kept glancing at her watch. It was hours ago that she finally escaped Phoebe and her mission to find the perfect field trip. She was waiting for Ryan to come home. He should've been there by now. Monica glanced at the clock once more as the door opened and Ryan walked in. He halted in his tracks as he stared into the uncertain eyes of his mother. He stood in the foyer, shifting his weight from foot to foot, his gaze focusing on anything but her. Finally unable to bear the silence anymore, he brushed past her, up the stairs, and into his bedroom. Monica winced as the door slammed.

__

Well that went well.

Ryan leaned up against the door. He hadn't meant to do that. He at least wanted to say something but no words formed. Seeing her again reminded him of the hurt that she caused by lying to him and to his father. He already loved Chandler and Monica couldn't drive him away again. Ryan trudged over to the bed and flopped on it, grabbing a pillow and screaming into it.

Why does life have to be so complicated! Why did Mom have to lie? Why – oh I need to go to sleep. Ryan surrendered to the comfort of his bed and let his heavy eyelids close. Some time passed before a soft knock woke him from his reverie and he mumbled a response. Monica poked her head around the corner and slowly entered.

"I didn't mean to wake you."

"That's okay I was hungry and about to get up."

"Good, cause I brought you some food." She opened the door fully to reveal the tray that she had set down on the floor. She picked it up and brought it over to the bed. Ryan's eyes went wide at the sight of his favorite food, macaroni and cheese and cut up hot dogs. Monica placed it on the table next to bed and pulled the chair from his desk over and sat down. Ryan's eyes narrowed at her.

"You know, just because you feed me and are being a great mom, not that you weren't before, I mean – well, you're a great mom and you do this a lot, it's just you can't – don't think this makes up for anything." Ryan finally got a hold of his words and Monica smiled at how much like Chandler he was when he got nervous or upset.

"I know this doesn't nearly make up for what I did, but you have to hear me out. Please?"

Ryan crossed his arms over his chest and looked away for a moment. Monica had seen Chandler in that position so many times, she had to suppress a laugh, remembering the petty arguments they went through.

"Please?"

"Fine," he pouted. "But this doesn't mean I have to like what you say."

"No it doesn't, but you at least have to listen to what I say." She paused, "I made a mistake - "

"Damn right you did."

"Ryan! I said _listen_ not interrupt. And watch your mouth," she threw in as an afterthought. He looked down and played with the cover of his bed, tracing his finger over the blue and green pattern. "I had gone out with your father –

"Which one?" Monica looked into his eyes and saw his pain. It was mirrored in her own.

"Ryan, please. This isn't easy for me either."

"Well maybe you should've thought of that before you decided to keep my father away from me."

"Ryan you had a father."

"No I didn't! Did you see the way he looked at me? There was no love or pride there. Only resentment."

"Ryan that's not fair!"

"It's the truth and you know it! He didn't want children! I know the whole story! You went out with him, you wanted different things, you broke up, you went out with Chandler, got pregnant, and when Dad offered, you accepted! Did you ever think about how that would affect Chandler? Or me? Maybe Dad didn't want children at all! Maybe he just said that so you would choose him!…Well you made the wrong decision, Mom! It was the wrong one!"

Monica sat across from him dumb struck, first at Ryan's knowledge of the situation and his sudden outburst towards her. She slowly got up, walked out of the room, and silently shut the door. She leaned up against it and closed her eyes willing everything to be like it once was.

Ryan sat on his bed breathing deeply, not quite sure as to what he just did. His lower lip trembled slightly and he bit it to keep from crying, but it didn't do much good. He put his head in his hands and let it all out.

Monica leaned against the door, silently crying her own tears as her son sobbed on the other side and there was nothing she could do about it. She had always been able to stop his crying and now she was the cause of it. No hug or kiss would help him and she went down the stairs, sat at the empty dinner table and wept.

About a half-hour later there was a knock on the door.

__

Of all the times Ross has to drop the damn wallet off…

Monica went to the door and opened it to reveal a nervous and fidgety Chandler standing on the other side.

"Chandler!" Monica's surprise was evident in her voice and she quickly rubbed her eyes to get the tears out of them.

"Monica, what's wrong?" His purpose was to verbally berate her but when he saw her tears his heart broke. He always hated seeing her cry.

"Nothing I'm just a little surprised to see you here that's all. I mean after you hung up on me and all." He smiled noting that she was reminding him of her not so successful attempt to work things out, but his expression turned serious and his voice became soft.

"That's not what I meant." He touched her cheek, sending chills down her spine. "Why are you crying?" She reluctantly moved her face away from his hand.

"Why do you think I'm crying? Our son refuses to open the door that he slammed in my face."

Chandler's breath hitched when she referred to Ryan as _their_ son. It took him a moment to register what she said after that.

"Maybe he has a right to slam doors." Monica looked down at her hands, knowing very well what he meant by that.

"I know he's angry with me and you are too." Chandler dropped his gaze but she lifted his chin and made him look at her. The pain in his eyes made tears form in hers and at that moment, he looked more like a vulnerable child than the man she had grown to love so many years ago. "You have to believe that I thought I was doing what was best for our child."

"Did you ever think about me when you figured that out? No, I mean why would Chandler Bing want a child, much less have one with the woman he loved? What a crazy idea that is, you know, actually _wanting_ to get to know your own son. What was I thinking?" Monica's heart broke as a single tear slipped down his face, and he turned his head away from her to hide it. He swallowed to get control of his bitter emotions. She grabbed his chin to turn him to her again and looked into his shiny blue eyes.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry, you have to believe me." Chandler's voice cracked as he started to speak.

"You know I want to, I really do, but you lied to me once. Why not do it again just to make yourself feel better?" Her hand dropped from his cheek and she didn't look into the loving eyes that she longed to see but into empty ones, tormented by pain and anguish. She knew this would take awhile and they were still standing in her open doorway. She noted that he was shivering. She opened the door wider. He looked a little surprised at first but she gave him a small smile so he went inside.

"Where's Ryan?"

"In his room, wishing he had another mother." Chandler smiled as did Monica. "I don't know what to do."

"Let him cool off for a bit and then go up and try again. If he keeps turning you away then make him talk to you." Monica nodded.

"How do you know teenagers so well?"

"Well I lived through Ben and I'm halfway through Emma. If Ross or Rachel yell at them or if they fight, they come spend the night at my apartment. And believe me, after them you can handle anything." Monica laughed and sat down on a chair gesturing to the couch for Chandler to sit. He did so and looked a little shy at first. "I'm sorry I hung up on you." Monica gave him a small smile.

"You had every right to. I'm actually surprised I got you over to the sofa."

"Yeah me too."

Ryan scooted off his bed, having finished his food, and leaned close to the door. There were definitely voices down there, his mom's and a guy's. _Maybe it's Uncle Ross. No, it's not his because he's not complaining about something. Uncle Joey's? _Ryan looked at his watch. _No, reruns of Baywatch are on right now. That left…_Ryan's hand slipped from it's propped up position and his head banged against the door.

"Ow!"

"Smooth move, genius." Ryan looked over to his window to find Megan perched there.

"How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to see you fall for no apparent reason."

"Hey, I had a good reason. That's Chandler down there with my Mom."

"Yeah I know. I came over to check up on you and I saw them talking when I pulled up. How are things going so far?"

"I'm not sure but I haven't heard any glass break so I'm guessing pretty well." Megan smiled and climbed through the window from the roof, the same window Ryan would sneak out of when he was grounded.

"So how ya holdin' up?" Ryan shrugged and gingerly rubbed his head. Megan laughed at how pitiful he looked. "A lot better before you hit your head then, huh?" Ryan nodded. She went to his bathroom and got a wet washcloth. "You must've hit it pretty hard. You're bleeding." Ryan looked at his fingers and sure enough there was blood on them. Megan came back out and placed it on his forehead.

"Ouch!"

"Hold still!"

"It hurts!"

"Well quit moving and it won't hurt as much." Ryan stopped squirming and paused for a few moments.

"It still hurts." Megan shook her head as Ryan went back to the door.

"What are you doing?"

"Listening."

"Don't you think that you should give them some privacy?" He thought about it.

"Nope." She went over, grabbed his arm and dragged him to the bed.

"Did you eat anything?"

"Yeah, macaroni and cheese with cut up hot dogs." He pointed to the empty dish on the table as she laughed.

"Good, did you get some sleep?"

"Yes. You know, you're starting to sound like my mom."

"Yeah well someone's gotta keep you in line."

Monica returned from the kitchen with two cups of coffee and sat down across from Chandler at the table. Monica looked at Chandler who stared into his mug. _I have to say something. I'm the reason he's like this. The least I could do is start a conversation. _Before Monica could though she heard a voice.

"Why?" It was small, almost a whisper. She paused, trying to figure out what she should say first. There were so many answers to that question.

"I was scared."

"Of what?" He still wouldn't look up, and kept his eyes locked on his coffee.

"I was scared that you didn't want me."

"Why would I not want you, Monica, I loved you."

"Well you said that you never wanted to get married and here I was, pregnant, thinking that the man I love will never commit. What was I supposed to do?" Chandler finally looked up, his eyes red from the tears he was trying to hold in.

"You should've talked to me. At least have said something. Then maybe you would've realized that I was ready to commit! That I did want to spend the rest of my life with you! That I was telling the biggest _lie_ of my life when I said that I didn't want to marry you and that I made the biggest _mistake_ of my life when I let you walk out that door!"

Monica didn't move or blink but finally found the courage to speak.

"What?" Chandler put his head in his hands.

"Nothing."

"Chandler what are you talking about?"

"I said nothing."

"Answer me damn it. We ruined 18 years of our lives because we didn't talk and I am not willing to risk the next 18. Talk to me." Chandler wiped his eyes and stood up.

"I have to go."

"No, Chandler. You can't leave." Chandler continued towards the door. "Chandler!" He finally turned.

"Here's your wallet," he said completely ignoring her pleas, placing it on the side table and turning went out the door. She ran after him and he turned when he got to the porch steps. "I forgot to give this to you. I know you don't need it now but maybe you can hock it and put the money towards Ryan's college tuition or something." He tossed a small object at her and she caught it in her hand. He turned and went down the stairs. Her breath caught as she turned the velvet box in her hands.

"Chandler wait!" He stopped but didn't face her. She opened the box and a sob escaped when she caught sight of the diamond flanked by two sapphires, her favorite. "Chandler," she whispered. He still didn't say anything, just standing on the pavement with his back to her. She noticed his shoulders were shaking and when he finally spoke, she knew he was crying.

"I thought you'd like to have it. I mean it was originally for you, so better late than never." She could hear the bitterness in his voice.

"Chandler how long have you had this?" She swallowed the large lump in her throat, already knowing the answer.

"Oh about 18 years or so." He said it so nonchalantly it just made it sting even more.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He finally turned and looked her straight in the eye.

"You never gave me a chance. You called his name remember?" Monica closed her eyes, realizing that all of this pain was her doing.

__

Oh my God Richard..

What? I'm Chandler…Oh that's Richard.

Maybe he won't see us – Richard!

"The next thing I knew, you were engaged to him and you were having a baby! His baby! You know this may come as a shock to you but I wanted a child just as much as you did. But all I was left with was a stupid diamond ring and goddamn broken heart!" He finally broke down and Monica ran and enveloped him in a hug.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I was pregnant and alone."

"I was there."

"I didn't think you were sticking around." He pulled back and looked at her.

"I was there for 10 years…What made you think I didn't want to stick around for the next 50?"

"I thought marriage was just so the government could keep tabs on you." Chandler smiled despite his tears. He leaned down closer to her.

"I lied." It sent chills down her spine but then she got a little angry.

"How did you expect me not to think the things I did if you were lying to me the whole time?"

"Monica I proposed to you twice before, I asked to live with you, I loved you. How could you not trust me?"

"I thought you changed your mind when the idea of marriage became a real possibility. I mean think about why you proposed before."

"That still doesn't change the fact that I actually did." Monica walked out of Chandler's grasp and then turned back around to look at him, realizing something.

"But both times, you were afraid of losing me."

"What?"

"The first time was because of the fight and you thought that there was a possibility that we would break up, am I right?" Chandler nodded. "In Vegas, was it because I went out to lunch with Richard and you thought you would lose me to him?"

"No. I told you then and…I'll tell you now…I've never loved anybody as much as I love you." Monica kept on questioning him, the reality of what he just said not really sinking in.

"Well what if your proposal 18 years ago was just to keep me from Richard? What if you really didn't want to propose but you just did it so I wouldn't go anywhere?" Chandler smiled at her and spoke calmly.

"Then why did I buy the ring a week before you ever called Richard to the table?" Monica was at a loss for words. "Monica you keep talking about 'what if.' Do me a favor close your eyes," she did so as he walked a little closer, "and don't say a word."

He kissed her slowly at first loving the feel of her lips after 18 years. She put her arms around his neck as his hands found their way into her hair. He pulled away but her eyes were still closed. He leaned down and whispered,

"Like I said, I've never loved anybody as much as I love you." She opened her eyes and a few tears slipped down her cheeks.

"I love you so much." She kissed him again passionately on the mouth.

"Hey as much I hate to break up this little lovefest, but the neighbors are starting to wonder what all the commotion is about!" Chandler and Monica broke their kiss and looked up to see Ryan and Megan leaning out of his window. Chandler looked down at Monica and then up at Ryan.

"That's it you're grounded!"

"Grounded? Hey that's not fair! What did I do to you?"

"I'm your father, I can ground you if I want! Besides nobody ever said life was fair." Chandler and Monica looked at each other once again, knowing full well what that statement implied. Life definitely had not been fair. They lost 18 years to a simple trick that turned into the biggest misunderstanding of all time.

"Fine! But don't think just because you're my father you can just, you know – you can't – you – Oh hell I don't care what you do just don't go anywhere." Chandler smiled.

"Promise." Chandler and Monica walked back into the house and were greeted by Ryan and Megan as they walked down the stairs. Ryan stood there staring at Chandler with his arm around Monica until Megan slightly nudged him and he ran down the stairs and hugged him. Ryan pulled away and kissed his Mom on the cheek as Megan slipped by them, heading for the door. Monica saw her.

"Megan where do you think you're going?"

"Um, home. Give you guys time to…bond or something."

"You're a part of this family too. Come on. Besides I made a huge cake and the more people that eat it means there's less for me to eat," Monica insisted. Ryan leaned over and whispered to Chandler.

"I'm gonna marry her one day." He was grinning ear to ear. Chandler smiled as Ryan turned to his mother. "Okay can we celebrate now? I've had a pretty crappy weekend and all I want is some cake and hopefully some new keys." Monica looked at Megan.

"Well the cake I can take care of, the keys are another matter." Ryan's face fell.

"Are you kiddin'? After everything that has happened I can't even get a car out of sympathy?" He turned to Chandler. "I guess I have to work on my act a little more." Chandler nodded as Monica winked over Ryan's shoulder. Chandler clapped his hands together.

"Well come on. There are more presents to open, move it along." Chandler ushered Ryan and Megan into the living room as Monica sneaked into the kitchen to grab the cake and keys.

"You mean there's more?" Megan looked guilty.

"Well not from me…I left your present at home." Ryan kissed her on the cheek.

"It's all right. Just don't let it happen again." Monica came in with the cake and set it down in front of Ryan. They all sang Happy Birthday as he blew out the candles.

AN: It's not over yet


	6. Part VI

__

One Year and Three Weeks Later…

"Come on let's go!" Ryan banged on his parents' door and he heard a groggy reply from inside.

"You're eighteen. Haven't you gotten over this stage yet?"

"NO! Come on, Mom. Get out of bed."

"Yeah Mon, get out of bed."

"Chandler?" Chandler opened to door to find Monica sitting up in bed rubbing her eyes, looking at the other side of their bed, which he had obviously vacated earlier.

"In the flesh. Come on. Santa was very good to us this year."

Monica rolled her eyes, knowing how late she was up the night before, making sure that Christmas morning was absolutely perfect. Right down to the last ribbon. She swung her legs over the bed, wrapped a robe around herself, and walked down the stairs, her arm around Chandler's waist. Ryan greeted her with a cup of coffee.

"Oh, I've trained you well." Ryan smiled and proceeded to bounce over to the living room where he plopped down on the couch, waiting for his parents. Chandler stopped and looked at Monica.

"He sure has a lot energy." She smiled at him.

"Yeah, I wonder where he gets it from." Chandler's smiled brightened a little more, as it did whenever someone referred to Ryan as his. He kissed Monica before moving over to the tree.

"Okay and the first present goes to…Ryan." Ryan perked up and eagerly opened the present.

"Underwear? You've gotta be kiddin' me!" Chandler kept a straight face though his eyes danced in laughter.

"Nope. That's it. That's all you get. Your Christmas is over."

"First of all, I don't wear tighty-whiteys. Second of all…that's not fair." Monica looked on, trying to suppress her laughter at the whole situation. But she didn't see the look that Chandler stole in her direction.

"Well, Ryan, maybe there are other, more important presents to give out." Ryan's eyes widened and he sat back, silenced. Monica's brow furrowed at the sudden change and was about to question it but Chandler announced that the next present was for her. She smiled as he handed her the present and she carefully opened the gift, very different from the ravenous way her son opened his. She was surprised to find merely a slip of paper. Confused, she looked at Chandler who said not a word. He just sat down next to Ryan on the couch across from her chair. She read the paper:

__

"It's a four."

She slowly looked up at Chandler, his eyes not giving her any hint as to what it meant Oh she knew what he was talking about, a dozen memories from Vegas flooding her mind. She just didn't think it made any sense. He finally shifted his eyes up to her bedroom before they met hers again. She glanced up the stairs, realization dawning. She gave him a strange look as she rose from her chair and proceeded up the stairs. She entered their bedroom and grabbed a box from under the bed, THE box. She pulled out a pair of dice which, not surprisingly, had another note attached to them. She opened the note and read:

"_You had me at hello."_ Monica literally laughed out loud at that one. She walked out of her bedroom and looked down into the living room.

"You had me at hello?" Chandler, his face still not showing much emotion simply said,

"Where did I first say hello to you?"

"At my parents' house. Oh God, do I have to drive to my parent's house?" Chandler finally smiled.

"No. But what was the occasion?" Monica gave him another curious glance before proceeding to the kitchen. She glanced around before her eyes finally settled on her recipe book. She turned to her mother's thanksgiving stuffing recipe and another note fell out. She picked it up and read:

__

"I'm still on London time."

Monica covered her mouth with her hand. She walked back into the living room and stared at the two men before her, who looked so much like each other. Two identical pairs of blue eyes stared innocently back at her.

"Okay as sweet and beautiful as this is, I'm stumped." She stared at them expectantly, waiting for a hint from one of them, but it never came. "Okay, London…London, England…Ross' wedding…us," she blushed and looked at Chandler who smiled encouragingly. "Joey meeting the Duchess of York with that ridiculous ha -" She suddenly stopped and Ryan broke out into a grin. Monica looked at her son's face and knew she was on the right track. She ran back upstairs and into Ryan's bedroom. She picked the hat that Joey had given Ryan off of his shelf and felt inside. Sure enough there was another note. It read:

__

"It's a boy."

Now Monica was really confused. She walked back out to the top of the stairs and looked at Chandler.

"Yes, sweetheart, I know it's a boy. I've known for the past 18 years." Chandler shook his head.

"How old was Ryan when you heard that?"

"Like, 3 seconds."

"So he was a baby, then." Monica glanced at the attic door, then back at Chandler. All of Ryan's baby stuff was up here so she had to be going in the right direction. She got to the top and walked over to the box labeled "baby things." She looked around but couldn't find anything. She was about to give up when she spotted Ryan's bassinet in the corner. She walked over and lifted up the baby blanket, and there she found a tiny, velvet box. She gasped as she reached down and carefully picked it up. She slowly opened it and found a beautiful, shiny…key. Before she could really react she heard someone walk behind her and she felt a blindfold being tied around her head. Chandler's strong arms wrapped around her from behind and she leaned into him.

"Chandler -"

"Come with me. I want to show you something." He took the box out her hands and led her down the stairs. He wrapped a blanket around her before she felt the icy chill of the December morning hit her. He helped her into the car and they drove for a while. Neither said a word. She felt the car slow to a stop and heard Chandler's door open, then hers. She felt Chandler's hand grasp hers as he helped her out of the car and he led her into a building. She had her arm around his waist, the only familiar thing in the darkness. There were no familiar sounds, no familiar smells, no familiar feelings as she was led up a flight of stairs. Chandler moved away from her grasp for a second as she heard the sound of a key being placed in a lock. He led her forward and she heard her shoes click on the empty floor.

"Chandler, where are we?"

He pulled off her handkerchief and she looked around. Her mouth dropped open and her eyes filled with tears as she took in the scene before her. She was standing in her old apartment, one Chandler had vacated nearly eight months before, and all around the floor were dozens and dozens of candles. He stood beside her and looked around. Ryan and Joey did a good job. Got them all lit in about 15 minutes. He laced his fingers through hers.

"I thought I'd do this the right way." He finally stepped in front of her and slowly got down on one knee. Monica's tears finally spilled over and she covered her mouth with her hand.

"Monica, a long time ago, you brought out something…that I never knew I had in me. You taught me what it meant to love and the feeling that you gave me when you said those three words, is embedded in my heart forever. I love you so much. You gave me an amazing son whom I love more than life itself. And…although I lost you for a little bit…I want to hold onto you for eternity… You are my past, my present…and my entire future lies with you…Monica…will you marry me?"

Monica lost all self-control at that moment and broke down into sobs. She managed a nod of her head and a whispered "yes" as Chandler's own tears finally slipped down his cheeks and he slid the ring on her finger. He stood up and kissed her and her arms encircled his neck. She finally looked up at him and smiled.

"I love you." Chandler's smile got even bigger and he held her tighter.

"You too, babe. Remember, you're mine for eternity." She gave him a small smirk.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

__

TWO YEARS LATER…

Chandler sat in his spacious office, with a view of the Chrysler and Empire State Buildings, and went over the upcoming companies that he was supposed to recruit for advertising. His secretary beeped in on the intercom.

"Mr. Bing, you have a phone call on line 2."

"Thanks, Janie." Chandler picked up the receiver.

"Hello?"

"Mr. Chandler Bing?"

"Yes, this is he."

"This is Dr. Jacobson at Riverview Hospital…your son was in an accident." The air was sucked out of Chandler's lungs and he felt behind him for his chair.

"Is he…is he okay?"

"He's in surgery right now, Mr. Bing, but if you could come down here, we'll give you more details."

"Of course, I'll be right there." Chandler's voice was quiet, sounding as though it came from someone else. He grabbed his jacket and ran out the door, mumbling an incoherent excuse to Janie as he flew by her.

Monica ran through the hospital ER doors and up to the front desk, trying to keep her voice steady and her panic at bay.

"I'm looking for Ryan Bing." The nurse typed some things into the computer as Monica heard her name being called from down the hall. She ran, completely forgetting the nurse, and sank into the open arms of her husband. Her tears soaked into his shirt as he gently rubbed her back and kissed her hair.

"Shhhh. It'll be okay."

"Where is he? I want to see my son."

"He's still in surgery, Mon."

"Will he be okay?"

"The doctors say he'll recover physically but they'll have to check him for any head injuries." Monica muffled a cry.

"What kind of head injuries?"

"The doctor said there could be amnesia, brain damage." The terrified look in his wife's eyes told him that it probably wasn't a good idea to continue. "He just…he hit his head pretty hard, but he's got great doctors working for him. Everything will be fine, Mon."

"But what if it isn't?" Chandler swallowed hard, not letting the thought cross his mind, as he embraced his wife again. Dr. Jacobson walked up and smiled reassuringly at the worried parents.

"He's just getting out of surgery now. It went very well. We had to remove his spleen, and he has a broken wrist and a leg fracture, but physically he should make a full recovery." Chandler looked at Dr. Jacobson.

"What about mentally?" The doctor sighed.

"We won't know anything yet. We're going to take him for an MRI and check if there's any brain damage, then you can see him. He seemed very responsive when he came in. He wasn't complaining about any pain, just about a plane he had to catch." Chandler smiled.

"Yeah he was supposed to join his girlfriend in the Bahamas tonight." The doctor smiled knowingly.

"I see. Well I'll go get that MRI done and come get you when it's over."

"Thank you." Monica turned to Chandler and put her head against his shoulder. About an hour later, Monica was sitting in a chair waiting for Rachel to come back with her coffee, while Ross tried to keep Chandler from pacing.

"Oh my God. I just realized that Megan is going to be at the airport to pick Ryan up and he won't be there. I have to go call her." Chandler nodded as Mon went to the front desk and Dr. Jacobson came down the hall.

"Everything seems fine. You can see him now. If you notice anything strange, if he can't remember certain people or events just come get me."

"Okay thank you." The doctor nodded.

"He's in room 433." Chandler took a deep breath and walked down the hall. He stood in front of room 433 and slowly opened the door. A dozen memories hit him at once as he saw his son lying there in the hospital bed, much like he had been 17 years ago, though the bed didn't seem as big as it did then. Maybe it was just that the little boy wasn't so little anymore. Ryan opened his eyes and met his father's.

"Hi Dad."

"Hey, kiddo. How ya feeling?"

"Like I've been hit by a bus…oh wait, I was." Chandler smiled. _I don't know how Monica puts up with both of us._

"So what happened?" Ryan shrugged his shoulders but then winced.

"I zigged when I should've zagged."

__

TWO MORE YEARS LATER…

All he could hear was constant ringing. It just wouldn't stop. He turned over and buried his head in his pillow. Finally it was quiet. He smiled as if he had won a silent victory but then it started up again.

"Dear God. Doesn't anyone value sleep anymore." He felt his wife stir next to him and she reached to pick up the phone.

"Hello?…Ryan?…What's wrong?…Oh my God!…When?" Chandler finally perched himself on his elbows and looked expectantly at his wife. She waved him away and continued with her conversation. "When is it?…I bet…No it's too late to call him…"

"And it wasn't too late to call us?" Monica waved him away again so he collapsed onto his pillows. Monica finally held the phone out for him.

"You're son's getting married!"

"It's about time he asked her to marry him. Oh Jesus, my own son's wedding will be within six years of my own…that's depressing." Chandler rolled over. "Tell him I'll congratulate him in the morning. Trust me, I'll be much more excited then." Monica rolled her eyes and continued her barrage of questions of when, where, and most importantly how big the diamond was. Chandler rolled over and dreamed about weddings, families, and the strangest thing: He dreamed about what it would've been like to play catch with his son.

__

AND THREE YEARS AFTER THAT…

Chandler rolled over and again tried to get the ringing out of his head. Knowing that his wife wasn't there to pick up the phone, he forced his eyes open and reached blindly through the dark in the direction of the sound. _Why did Monica have to go on an all girls weekend with Rachel and Phoebe?_

"He-hello?"

"Dad! You're gonna be a grandfather!" Chandler shot up in bed.

"Now?"

"Yes right now! You have to come down here! I'm freaking out! I'm not ready to be a father!"

"Ryan calm down. How's Megan?"

"A hell of a lot better than I'm doing!"

"Okay, don't worry. I'll be right there."

Chandler walked down the hall looking for a familiar face amidst the doctors, nurses, and expectant fathers. Finally he saw his son exit a room and lock eyes with him. Chandler noticed his son looked a lot paler than he should. He kept wringing his hands as he walked towards him.

"Dad I don't know what to do." Ryan sunk into Chandler's hug much like Monica did when they were in that same hospital.

"How far along is she?"

"Five centimeters."

"You hangin' in there?"

"Barely. I just feel so…helpless."

"I know. Where are Megan's parents?"

"They're having trouble getting out of California. And Mom is on her way."

"Good." Chandler was quiet as Ryan looked at him, and at that moment he looked more like a little boy than a 25-year-old father to be.

"Dad, I'm scared. I can't be a father. I'm not ready." Chandler smiled and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Yes you are."

"But the baby's a month early! What if something goes wrong?"

"Ryan, the doctors are amazing. The baby will be fine. See?"

"See what?"

"Worrying comes so easily, doesn't it." Chandler looked into Ryan's anxious face.

"Does it ever go away?" Chandler slightly smiled and sighed.

"Nope. You'll be a great father." Ryan dug into his pocket and pulled out a small white pull-over.

"I've been carrying this around with me all day." Chandler unfolded it and looked at the tiny baby outfit. The words, _My Daddy Loves Me_ were inscribed across the front. Chandler looked back up.

"This is one very lucky baby." Ryan saw the pain behind his father's eyes.

"I was too, Dad." Chandler smiled and returned the outfit.

"You better get back to your wife so she doesn't purposely break your arm in the delivery room." Ryan quickly nodded.

"Dad, could you do me a favor? Can you get some ice chips for Megan?"

"Yeah I'll be right in." Ryan jogged back down the hall, took a deep breath and walked in the room. Chandler proceeded around the corner to the ice machine and filled up the pitcher. He walked back to the room and knocked on the door.

"Come in." Chandler cautiously opened the door and saw Megan in the bed. She looked a lot less panicked than Ryan did at the moment. "Hey Dad."

"Hey, Megs." Chandler went over and kissed her cheek. "How ya doing?" She rolled her eyes.

"I'll be doing a lot better when your grandchild decides to make an appearance." Chandler's eyes lit up.

"Here I brought you some ice chips."

"Oh, you are my savior. Oh, Ryan, did you call your uncle?"

"Hon, I think the whole city knows you're in labor." She glared at him so he leaned down and kissed her. Chandler heard the door open behind him and the doctor walked in.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Grant. You must be the grandfather to be." Chandler nodded and shook the man's hand.

"Chandler Bing."

"Nice to meet you. I'm just going to check on Megan's progress and then we'll go from there." Ryan headed towards the door.

"We'll wait outside." As soon as the door was shut Ryan started pacing again. Chandler sat in one of the chairs.

"Ryan, you're going to wear a hole in the floor." Ryan finally sat down only to be up again two seconds later.

"Ryan!" Ryan turned around and saw Emma jogging down the hall. Chandler stood up and hugged her.

"Will you calm him down? He won't listen to me." Emma laughed.

"Hey Uncle Chandler."

"Hey sweetie."

"Ryan you look nervous." She turned to Chandler. "Doesn't he look nervous?" Chandler nodded just as the doctor came back out.

"Mr. Bing, Your baby's shoulder seems to be stuck on your wife's pelvic bone." Ryan swallowed hard and took a step back. Chandler placed a hand on his back just to let him know he was there. "The baby's heart rate is beginning to drop. If it keeps up then we think it's in the best interest of your wife and your baby if we do a C-section."

"Will-will they be okay?"

"They should be just fine once we get them into the operating room. But until then, we're going to keep a close watch on your baby's heart rate." Ryan numbly nodded and sank into a chair as the doctor walked away. Chandler crouched in front of him.

"Ryan? It's gonna be okay." Ryan stubbornly shook his head. "Ryan, Megan needs you right now. Go hold her hand." Ryan looked up at him with tear stained eyes, slowly stood up and walked down the hall. Chandler stood up and hugged Emma who was on the verge of tears. "Not you too, Em. They'll be fine. I promise."

"How do you know?"

"Because I do. Now where's your father?"

"He was parking the car and for Dad you know that's a three hour ordeal." Chandler smiled but then saw Ross walk through the door.

"Ross!" Ross turned and came their way.

"How is she?"

"The baby's heart rate is dropping and they may have to do a C-section."

"Jesus." Ross rubbed his temple with his fingers. "Oh, Monica called while I was parking the car. She couldn't get a hold of you, but she said they weren't that far away." Chandler nodded. "Where are Megan's parents?"

"California."

"Why would they go on vacation when they know their daughter's having a baby?"

"Ross, the baby is a month early." All of a sudden Chandler had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He started to doubt if the baby actually would be okay. The odds were stacked against them. Chandler shook his head and sat down in a chair right as Ryan came jogging down the hall, decked out in scrubs.

"The doctor said there isn't enough improvement, so they're taking her in for a C-section."

"Okay. Tell her we love her and will be waiting here when it's over." Ryan smiled and hugged his father as he jogged back down the hall. He entered the delivery room, which was already prepped for the C-section. Across Megan was a sheet to keep her from seeing anything. Ryan sat down by her head and gripped her hand. A tear rolled down her cheek and onto the sheet below her.

"I'm scared."

"You're amazing. I love you so much. We'll get through this." Megan nodded as the doctors went to work. She never let go of Ryan's hand.

Minutes later Ryan ran down the hall and nearly tackled Chandler in a hug.

"I have a son! You're a granddad! And I'm a father…holy shit I'm a father." Ryan stopped bouncing and grew rather pale, before catching sight of Monica behind him. "Mom!"

"How are they?"

"She's great. He's great! Everything's just great!" Ryan seemed to be in a state of euphoria. Chandler had to laugh.

"Can we see him?"

"Yeah, yeah follow me!" Ryan led them down a hall and into the room. Joey, Phoebe, Ross, Rachel, and Emma waited outside so the new mom and baby didn't seem too overwhelmed.

"Hey sweetie." Megan looked up and wiped her eyes, laughing as she did so.

"Hey, everybody, this is Luke." Chandler leaned over the baby.

"Luke. I like it. Hey Luke, I'm your Granddad."

"Do you want to hold him?" Chandler nodded.

"I haven't done this in a while." Monica smiled at him.

"It'll all come back." Megan passed the baby to Chandler who stared down at him. Luke stared right back; his eyes fixed on Chandler's face.

"Wow. He's adorable….definitely not from my side of the gene pool." Megan laughed.

"Oh he certainly is." She reached up and pulled Ryan down to kiss him as Chandler passed the baby to Monica.

"He's beautiful. Hi Luke. I'm gonna spoil you rotten. Yes I am. Yes I am." She cooed. Luke gurgled and Monica handed him to Ryan who looked terrified. Chandler shook his head.

"Don't worry, Ryan. You won't break him." Ryan glared at Chandler but knew he was right, Ryan was a little scared to hold his son. He was so tiny.

"Hey Luke." Ryan paused and took a deep breath. "I'm your daddy."

__

AND THREE YEARS AFTER THAT…

"…22…36…HIKE!" Ryan backed up and heaved the ball down the yard to Chandler. He caught it and handed it to Luke who was running beside him.

"I'm gonna get you Luke!" Ben jogged after Luke who shrieked in excitement.

"Granddad help!" Chandler scooped Luke up and ran with him past the lawn chairs that marked the endzone.

"And the Bings win again!" Ryan jogged down the field to celebrate with Chandler and Luke, while Ross sulked.

"No fair! You have Joey!" Chandler rolled his eyes.

"You have Ben and Mike! I don't want to hear about it!"

"Luke, you're just too fast for me." Ben tickled Luke who was still in Chandler's arms, clutching the oversized football. Luke looked at Chandler who winked at him. Ryan snatched Luke out of Chandler's arms and threw him up in the air.

"Burgers are ready!" Monica turned from the grill and pointed the spatula at the guys in the yard. "Let's go. Everybody wash your hands before you touch my food!" She heard a few grumbled replies as they all marched into the house. Megan and Rachel set the table as Emma and Phoebe brought the rest of the food from the kitchen.

"Looks great, babe." Chandler kissed her as he walked by, before grabbing Luke and throwing him over his shoulder.

"Meg, where are the paper towels?" Ryan yelled from the kitchen.

"Under the sink! I swear he doesn't know where anything is. He wouldn't know a vacuum cleaner if he tripped over it." Monica smiled.

"Reminds me of someone I know." She glanced at Rachel briefly before staring at Chandler inside. He had Luke perched on his knee while the three year old lathered his hands with way too much soap. "Come on. The food's gonna get cold!"

"Relax, we're coming. Seven people can only wash their hands so quickly…besides, Mom, each of us would have to scrub for ten minutes in order to pass your inspection."

"That's right. Let me see." Ryan held up his hands in front of Monica.

"Very good." Luke did the same. "Excellent, peanut." Chandler came over and lifted up his hands. "You could work on them a little."

"Hey."

"I'm just kidding. Everybody sit."

Ryan came up behind his pregnant wife and placed his hands on her small bump. He kissed her shoulder and pulled out her chair before sitting at the head himself. Twelve and a half people at one table was a lot. He looked at everybody's faces, the smiles, the laughter, and then his eyes settled on his son who was seated in between himself and his father. He could pick out every feature. Luke had his eyes, therefore Chandler's eyes. He had Megan's nose…_such a cute nose_. Both he and Megan had the same hair basically so it was hard to tell where Luke got his from. He had Monica's stubbornness and Chandler's wit, even at the age of three. Knock knock jokes were very common in their house, as was the word "no." Ryan finally stood up and clinked his glass, but the sound was muffled because he forgot to take the napkin out. There was laughter among Ross, Monica, and especially Chandler, but Ryan just glared at them as he pulled the napkin out and hit the glass again.

"I would like to propose a toast to…great family, amazing friends, and all of the heartwarming, sometimes hysterical, memories you've given me. I want to thank you for being there for me any time I needed you and I know that you'll always be there in the future. I love you guys…Cheers." Everybody clinked their glasses and they ate their food in between laughter and an occasional complaint from Ross. The guys cleared the dishes while the girls sat and gave out orders. After everything was clean, everyone parted until all that was left was the Bing family. They all sat in the living room, Monica and Megan on the couch with Ryan at her feet and Chandler in the chair with Luke in his lap.

"Have you thought about names yet?" Megan and Ryan looked at each other.

"We're trying to hold off that fight for a couple more months." Chandler laughed before Luke turned around in his lap.

"Hey, Granddad, guess what?"

"What?"

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Interrupting cow."

"Interrupti -"

"MOO!" Luke giggled as everybody laughed. Monica leaned forward.

"That was a good one Luke. You really got your Granddad." Ryan grinned.

"That's my boy."

Ryan walked around his house, just wandering. He knocked on the guest room door and heard his mom tell him to come in. He opened the door and found her turning down the bed.

"Hey have you seen Dad?"

"No. Last time I checked, he and Luke were watching The Lion King."

"Kay." Monica stared at him. "What?"

"I still can't believe that here you are, husband and father…To me you're still that little boy who set the carpet on fire." Ryan laughed.

"Mom, how many times have I apologized for that?"

"Well it's a good thing you have your father's eyes to get you off the hook or else you would've been in big trouble. All you had to do was pout and I caved."

"Hey as I remember, I got a pretty decent time out for that little event. I don't call that 'getting of the hook." She smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

"Goodnight Munchkin." Ryan looked surprised.

"You haven't called me that since I was seven."

"Well, even munchkins grow up." He smiled and hugged her.

"Goodnight Mom."

"Goodnight, sweetie." He kissed her on her cheek and walked back into his bedroom. He walked over to Megan who was already asleep in their bed. Her brown hair was strewn across the pillow and he brushed some away from her face to kiss her goodnight. Then he kissed his unborn baby and walked back downstairs. He proceeded into the living room and stopped in the doorway. He leaned up against the door frame and just watched. Chandler was sound asleep on the couch with Luke out cold on top of him. Luke rose with every breath Chandler took. Even Ryan had to admit, they almost looked identical while they were asleep. He grabbed a blanket off the back of the chair and covered them with it, tucking them in properly. He kissed Luke on the cheek and then Chandler on the head.

"Goodnight, peanut…Goodnight Dad."

Ryan turned off the TV and walked to the doorway. He glanced back once more, staring at his father and his son. He smiled, turned out the light, and walked out of the room.

FIN

Thanks for reading! I hoped you liked it! Please, review (pretty please).


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